Spirare. To breathe. The breath of life.

This insight is not quite formed, but here goes…this inner knot that has been with me my whole life and probably lifetimes and dimensionalities beyond. It says I will lose everything. It chatters that constantly. It grips my gut and wakes me up at night.

But it is an illusion.

I think if I really got that, it would dissolve and delude me no more. But I do get it. Maybe not enough? The knot has enough energy and seeming-life to grip me so.

It is a is a weird place to be. That knowing but not knowing. Knowing in such a way that finally you – ah! – see the roots and yank that weed out of your psyche and soul. I live there alot.