Category Archives: Alchemy

A Whole New Model of World

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I started this post two weeks ago. It has sat as a draft ever since. This morning I finally realized that my inability to finish it stemmed from the fact that it is about a whole new world for which there is no precedent. For some reason I expected I had a lot to say about that. Ha.

I do know this new world will include the elimination of just about everything we know. Including all culture, religion…the entire nature of reality as it is collectively and individually seen through familiar filters. The world of culture and religion are composed of beliefs and those beliefs create perceptual filters through which we define and physically create a reality. That is culture and religion and pretty much…..everything.

This shift goes beyond even that. It goes to the structure and meta-physics of our planet and galaxy. Most of that information is beyond my ken at this time. However, one point made clear to me recently was that there will no longer be “yugas.”

A yuga is a period of time on planet Earth. It was based on movements in the Earth’s axis. Common knowledge says there are four of them and they each encompass vast periods of time: 432,000 years. But in fact they may be much shorter: between 24,000 – 26,000 years. It is said they have a dark or sleeping aspect/group and an awake aspect/group. They have different “flavors” or qualities. We are allegedly at the end of a Kali Yuga, the darkest and most difficult of the yugas.

This planet has been manipulated for a very long time. The unfolding of the new Unknown (and Glorious, I suspect) has been withheld. Hopefully, humanity is rectifying that, but honestly I do not know if that is actually happening and that is probably the most difficult unknown I wrestle with.

I wrote about the yugas in a recent post because I needed a reference point for my thoughts and the yuga seemed useful. It is not that I no longer believe in them, it is that they will soon no longer exist as a meta-model for our planet. Extend that to virtually everything we know and have known including most esoteric information and practices. It’s a big deal.

This raises a bigger question that I wrestle with frequently in my daily life: what do you do & how do you proceed when you know you are on the edge of a shift into a Great Unknown and you only (or mostly) have the known to work with?
This is exactly the nature of my everyday, mundane life. I face the issue daily, hourly. For example, the heat in the RV has broken. That heat kept my husband, me and our cats alive this past Winter. We have ideas for backups, but we have not materialized them yet. Money is tight at the moment and there are constant priorities popping up their little heads and hungry mouths. So how will we survive next Winter?It’s a big question and as of today, I have no answer.

I hope and pray all this dealing with the unknown in daily life is prepping me to better deal with it when it is undeniably the fact of our reality on Earth. It is not that time yet. I must say though that my experience of what I call the alchemical bootcamp: frequent facing of the unknown and loss of the familiar and/or the hoped-for, is not pleasant and the irritability I experience is existential.
Hopefully there is some alchemy actually happening and will result in some kind of peace and smoothness of being in the face of the unknown-known-unknown-known.

in the meantime, I use the tools I have, even though they are probably already fossils.

Spiritual Destruction

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We are in times of change here on planet Earth. We are actually behind the times, so everything that is happening now is overdue. Yet, alot of it feels pretty sucky. I understand. If you’re read some of my blog posts about my current life circumstances – have I mentioned the composting toilet yet? – you will know I understand.

What few people have yet to understand is that if the rug is pulled out from your life – it can take many forms – your soul is throwing down the gauntlet to the human “you.” (“Throwing down that gauntlet”: to challenge or confront someone). It is challenging you to grow beyond what was comfortable and known. Yes, it feels uncomfortable and maybe terrifying, but it is about your growth and you do not have to know what that growth will look like.
I’ve said it many times: comfort is nice. I’m a big fan. But it is not the goal of life. It is not a sign that you are a good person, living a good life. Ultimately, it is a state of mind and our challenge is to live beyond mind states and in the naked belly of Reality.

The soul is causal, it is creative, so it’s not a stroke of bad luck or punishment if the rug gets pulled out from your life. I understand it probably feels that way and I understand that many…many….people around you and in the media (for example, if you experienced a large scale weather disaster and there is media coverage) may frame it that way, but that’s just a frame, it is not reality and here is the key: it’s all in the frame. That’s the most important point: it’s all in the frame and your state of mind.

You grieve what you feel you’ve lost and at the same time you ask yourself: what will I do now, this moment, this next moment. You get on with it. And you find comfort and pleasure each day however you can, realizing that it is not the goal of your life. It’s not. Growth is. No matter what.

New times are coming and I suspect they will be marvelous, but they require us to get out of our comfort zones. So-called comfort zones are internal, first, then we attach those mind states (the feelings, the images) to circumstances. If your circumstances have shifted radically and quickly – congratulations, you are being called to grow intensely. You are ahead of the curve.

You have accepted the challenge. Now, you must rise to it. You’re up for it. You’ve got this.

Why am I afraid of my power? (Part 1 – also known as “Am I levitating yet?”)

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I am studying the practical application of the Siddhis. I would like to study them, is more the truth. I am finding it difficult to get current, useful, enlightened information on their practical use. Instead I am wading through religious gobbledygook that is familiar muck.
I bought a book called “Beyond the Siddhis,” hoping it would offer practical suggestions for using the siddhis in every day life. While reading the first chapter, I was reminded of a bias I have encountered many times: that the “powers” attributed to the siddhis are, essentially unspiritual. They are impediments on the path to enlightenment and union with life.

I have heard that alot in my life and took it to heart. The result: tons of confusion, self-doubt and a desire to conform (which I mostly failed). I distrusted myself and, to some degree, it inhibited me from developing higher-order capabilities, choosing instead to be tethered, out of fear, to existing ways of navigating reality.

If I give Patanjali the benefit of the doubt, I would say he said these things to warn individuals against getting lost in any ego-based or “glamour” element of the siddhis. This applies to some people (and many institutions), but I am not one of them. If it applies to you, then by all means do the necessary inner work to release any sense of powerlessness and illusion that would make you seek power over others as a substitute for real power, which does not include power “over” anyone or thing and, further, does not even include an “other.” Power dwells within you, which I will get to in another post on this subject.

With all the warnings and shaming in the texts about developing siddhis, I also see classic brainwashing at work. Humans have been taught for millennia to doubt their own inner experience and any abilities that could be considered “super” by the existing institutions, including all religious orders. Those of us with a sincere desire for spiritual evolution have gotten alot of goop on our hands in this quest.

The thought sequence behind this post went something like: Institutions are crumbling. They are supposed to, because an unprecedented Earth is emerging. It will be beyond-beautiful. It will be beyond-belief. It will be the impossible dream come true. But…it’s not that now. This crumbling of existing institutions may get more intense. That wouldn’t feel like the big problem it does if something new and better emerged concomitantly (“something that naturally accompanies or follows something”). But that isn’t happening, at least not on a large scale. So these days, life can feel like hanging on to a ship that is cracked and taking on water.

It’s time to awaken those inner powers and use them in everyday life. ( Everyday Siddhis. Maybe there’s a book in that?) Soon, the old ways will not work and we need a clue about what will work.

The Siddhis are abilities that operate on a quantum scale. Time and space are local AND non-local. Not a problem. When does it seem to be a problem? When we take a so-called Newtownian thought/reality box and try to squeeze it in there. That, my friends, is the only problem.

Invisibility (masslessness), levitation, clair-sensory (inner hearing, seeing), remote viewing, bi-locating – are not only possible, but necessary in a quantum world and on a planet that has finally evolved spiritually and become a peaceful member & player in its own galaxy and other galaxies.

If you are to pull what you need into your own physical reality – whatever density you’re in – and y’don’t have the old institutions anymore (which are really, when you boil it down, just “ways of doing things” with a bunch of fancy names, a ton of collective agreement and fake orders of importance attached to them) then what are you to do?

And We’re Off!

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I heard from a trusted source that the Golden Age of Earth (and Humanity) was supposed to start in 1899. That was almost 125 years ago. Why didn’t it?

That is a long story and alot of it is still hidden. I disclose some of what I know, there is alot I don’t know, from time to time on this blog. My only purpose in sharing this info – ONLY – is to inform anyone reading this blog that we are not the manipulated human or planet we have been led to believe. We ARE vast and unlimited. We are that. We are literally built for spiritually vast and unlimited. In form. In the very form and life you inhabit right here, right now.

The skill used by those forces who have sought to enslave humanity are considerable in terms of trickery. They have mislead us in form (DNA), in thought and even in soul. The reality we think is real is mostly not. The beliefs we hold and the physical reality we see and live in, are mostly a sleight of hand.

Because of that trickery and our relative naivite (or innocence), the unfolding of the next Golden Age was kept hidden from us. Hidden in plain sight.

No matter. After you know (enough of) the truth about the trickery, it isn’t impressive in any true sense. If you were really good at something and you used that skill to manipulate living beings and cause them suffering, would that be impressive? You would be skilled, but not impressive. Misguided and pathetic perhaps. So don’t get lost in the details of how humanity has been hoodwinked. These details aren’t worth any more of your time than what you need to know to break the spell. That’s the key: breaking the spell.

Breaking the spell. Hearing that all the good stuff was supposed to start unfolding over 100 years ago helps me break more of the spell. There are old, ingrained thoughtforms about spiritual realities being difficult to actualize, only for adepts and masters, needing to be kept secret, requiring pain and suffering and more. These are spells. Maybe they were facts in the past, but we’re in a new game now, so believing them will only create hindrances. Don’t fall for them. Bringing forth a highly spiritually advanced world will not take a long time and requires no pain and suffering. It was supposed to happen over a hundred years ago. Time is up. Time is here. Finally!

True North Off

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A friend of mine has been getting intuitive prompts to move. It started in late 2019 and by early 2020, she and her husband had stored most of their belongings and staged their home for market. Then the pandemic hit. They put the brakes on moving or even thinking about it. Understandable, though ironic, since 2020 was a great year to sell a house.

Recently, she’s been getting this prompt again. I don’t know what she’ll do with it this time, but I hope she takes action. Intuition asks for action.

Before she told me about the revived idea of a move, she lamented that her life felt really flat. Intuition requires action. Moving can feel scary. If it were me – at another time in my life, I do not have the option for it now – I would have felt the fear mostly by way of wary thoughts, meaning things like “what if this doesn’t work out?, “what if I miss the people I know and the places I like?,”I already know where to go for all my needs here, why move?”…and so on.

The thing about fear is that it is often mistaken for wisdom. The two are not the same. We are so conditioned to be cautious and over-intellectualize everything that we think fearful beliefs are sensible, prudent and wise. But however “crowd-sourced” and approved certain beliefs are – “how can you move at YOUR age??” – they are still beliefs rooted in of fear. Like crooked trees with roots of fear.
If you say “yes” to fear and “no” to your intuition, it puts your life on a fearful footing, fearful rooting. I call this “inner positioning.” You position yourself internally in fear and it acts like a compass guiding your whole life and being.

Life coach Martha Beck uses the term “true north” to describe what it is like to live in a way guided by intuition and spiritual truth. When we insist on saying “no” to this spiritual guidance, we are taken off (we take ourselves off) our true north. It’s like we are True North Off. We pay a price for that choice; loss of vitality is a big one.

The good news: it is completely your choice and changeable in a heartbeat…before your next breath.

Understanding Comfort

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Most of us conflate a “comfortable” life with a version we have of success and being a certain kind of human: smart, lucky, competent, desirable, right-kind-of and most of all, worthy.

A so-called comfortable life only means as much as the consciousness of the person living it. And it only means what we think it means because we’ve bought into someone else’s idea of what it is, who should have it, who should not have it, what it looks like and, most importantly, how it comes into manifestation.

Many people I know live good lives, but they protect their way of life at a cost. They allow their attachment and fear around it (circumstance and their identifications) to stunt their creativity and willingness to take risks.

Woven into the idea of who deserves a good life is the illusory idea of a “meritocracy.” People fill in their own beliefs and self-identities about the nature of a meritocracy. There are many versions of it.

What I propose is this: a human born onto this planet under any condition, time, circumstance, location, body, creed, namely ANY person simply born here on Earth has all the merit they need and will ever need to have a comfortable, luxurious life with the freedom to express their creativity and fulfill their desires and never have to earn the right to it. That is the only meritocracy that exists. Everything else is a belief system, no matter how outpictured it is or has been in the collective dream. A belief is entirely mutable. This whole system is built on puffy wisps that can blow away in a gentle breeze. Then all humans will live a good life and that will be a very good day.

What lengths will we go to before we accept our power?

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We are still escaping the brutal Colorado cold and are now in Santa Rosa, NM. A small, sleepy drive-through town that is on the original Route 66. It is like a place that time forgot as are other towns on the old route. I can’t help but wonder what these towns were like 60 or 70 years ago?

Here in Santa Rosa, I am contemplating the inner power of the human. I know I am only grasping a fraction of what it is, but today I am wondering what others think about their inner power?

I am watching YouTube videos about the labor strikes in the UK. I feel an empathy with individuals who are not valued monetarily for their efforts as that was often my experience in the past. I “get” having the desire to change the situation and how going on strike makes sense in the context of so-called society, but the issue is bigger and deeper. It is much bigger and much deeper. ALL the change, disruption and perceived difficulty going on, on our planet now is meant to accomplish one thing and just one thing: to get the human to accept their inner power.
It only takes this “one thing,” because this one thing will unlock the infinite. Once the infinite is unlocked, what more could you need?

I do not think circumstances on our planet needed to be as harsh as they are (and they probably will get harsher), but that is another matter. Each individual has a vote on a soul level, each one chooses, so people can have it any way they want it. The majority of people on this planet have chosen a path of difficulty to wake up. I hope they choose differently as soon as they get even a whiff that it’s a choice.

We have become attached to this matrix on Earth. The beloved icons, the ways of doing things, the beliefs about the nature of reality. Giving all this up can inspire feelings of sadness. I’m feeling some of that sad today. I’m in a new, more intense shift of my outer reality and I find myself feeling sad and wistful about the things of the past, the way of life of the past, even the foods of the past (actually the foods of the past are a big emotional attachment and fondness for me). I get it. But the process is – you have your moment or two of sad and then it’s on to the next step of shifting. The feelings are not a cue to take yet another inner/outer side street or detour, as it were, to deflect from the issue. The power is within you. It has always been. It does not matter how much you doubted, disbelieved and empowered something or someone else instead.

I wonder what it will take for people accept this fact? It requires a complete shift. There is no more maneuvering the outer world to obtain the power you think you lack. No more strikes, bargaining. There is only acceptance that all power is within you and you turned your back on it. Now it is time to face it, embrace it, own it. What will it take?

Alchemy Uses the Interaction of the Outer and the Inner

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Alchemy is inner transmutation. The experience of it is (constant) transformation, but ultimately it takes one beyond form. So not transFORMation per se (one form to another), but transmutation (form to no-form). But we’re not there yet. I’m not there yet. I mostly understand that intuitively.

The focus of the “alchemical bootcamp” life I am living seems to be the outer reality – and make no mistake about it, my outer life pulls my attention constantly – but the nexus of transformation and transmutation is inner. The real game is the inner one. It is that way for everyone. However, since I have chosen to be in the physical world in the current density (4th D trying to “land?”) interacting with the physical is vital. I can easily overlook or try to overlook this fact.

I think some of us lean toward one extreme or the other. We focus too much on the perceived outer and neglect the inner reality – that has not been my nature – or we focus almost exclusively on the inner and do not have much regard for the outer. The latter is my tendency. But the soul will use physical reality to get your attention if that is what is necessary. We can probably all relate to that. It is not a punishment, though it may feel that way, it is a form of communication. And, often, a call to action. Though – and here’s where it gets tricky – ultimately the action is inner. Inner primary (always). Physical reality necessary.

The constant new challenges of my life in the mundane – and baby, they ARE mundane – are the soul’s modus operandi to ascension. A blip, a solution, peace. Next blip, solution, peace. It does have a kind of rhythm, doesn’t it? It’s a kind of spiritual grind taking one out of all grinds (or most of them, depending on where your soul chooses to land).

It seems paradoxical. The way to soul freedom can be through finding a toilet option, keeping the body warm enough to live, getting food. There must be some poetry there, though it will probably feel more poetic in the next phase. Not alot of poetry now.

A Bigger Off-Grid

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This past Thursday I got a text from my friend Debra in Albuquerque with a link to a New York Times article about Ted Conover’s new book: “Cheap Land Colorado: Off-Gridders at America’s Edge.” As some of you know, my husband and I live off-grid in the San Luis Valley in Colorado, which is where Mr. Conover’s book is set. I read the article in the local coffee house, Milagro’s – local meaning in Alamosa, an hour away from the Mesa where I live – and as I walked out of Milagro’s I saw a sign on their door for a book signing being held by Mr. Conover that night.

On my way home, I picked up my mail and there he was again! On the cover of the local newspaper. Behold the power of the New York Times! A “3 ping” event in a short time catches my attention, so I asked my husband if we could go to the reading that night. My husband said “yes” as he is writing a memoir about life on the Mesa, provisionally called “Served By the Sun,” and he was interested.

Unfortunately, as the time of the book signing approached, we were too busy actually living our off-grid life to drive two hours to see someone talk about it.
The first snow came to the Mesa that night. I drove up from town (San Luis) in it and it was blinding. We couldn’t leave our place because the woodstoves needed to be going full-tilt and the cats were in the warmer RV, but the propane had to be monitored. If the RV propane runs out, the temperature in the RV plummets in minutes. It was in the 20’s that night.

In the NYT article about the book, I got a basic idea of what Mr. Conover had experienced and written about. He lived in an area in the San Luis Valley he referred to as “the Flats” and to be honest, I do not know where that is.
The San Luis Valley is 8,000 square miles. It is the largest high-altitude desert in North America. ALOT of it is flat. I sometimes refer to the flat sagey land in my neighborhood as “the incomprehensible sage flats,” but “the Flats” could be any number of places in the Valley.

After reading the article, I thought of my “take” on our-off-grid life and how I would offer a different take on life in the Valley and what drove the two of us to move here.
To speak practically, I will say that price was a consideration. I would have preferred not to be living so profoundly “off-grid,” as far as water and electricity go or to at least have “on grid” options, but I did not see a way to get the other things that were non-negotiable and have those water and electricity options for a price we could afford.

The non-negotiables:

-Privacy & no HOA
– ET sightings/history of the area
-Being more off-grid from the current “cultural” (way of life) matrix in our country and on most of the planet
– Beauty in the environment
-Quite, serenity and sovereignty over our living space
-Some community (and…the wild horses that live here were unexpected and a complete blessing)

Here is a summary of some of the points I would give Mr. Conover if he asked me for my take on “off grid” life:

-the soul nudged (maybe it shoved)

-part of that nudge/shove was the rug got pulled out of our old life – it happened more gradually for awhile and then in Summer 2020 it was “GO” time, the rug was yanked. That life had 7 weeks left and then it was no more. We got into creative action.

– all the steps that followed – and there were MANY – were part of the soul’s (souls’) insistence that we drastically shift the outer world as part of the drastic inner shifts that are underway
(My husband obviously has his own soul’s shift, but I cannot report on the details of that partly because he rarely frames things in those terms, so that is why I go back & forth between speaking about “we” and speaking from the first person. The shift was definitely in OUR life, but the way we each see it and possibly the outcomes – the shifts themselves – may be different)

-create enough of an inner spin that will take me through ascension (this way of life is serving that purpose)

-position myself for the earth ascension that is already under way and to interface with off-planet friends and new technologies to assist with my job here on Earth

There is more, but that is a good summary. I often experience fear and alot of frustration (it has taken me 5 days to power up this laptop and access my blog- grrrr!).

I know something huge and radically different is coming to the planet and for some of the people (could be lots of people, but what are lots of people choosing??), but I don’t know when or how it will unfold in our everday life. And in the meantime I often struggle to know how to navigate this time (and to be honest, the last 30 years which have largely been “this” kind of time).
But…. I am not a victim. I wish the people Mr. Conover lived with could reframe their state of minds to know they too are not victims. Victim is a state of mind. I know that can seem very difficult to embrace in the face of what people experience and yet, it is a cosmic truth: there are no victims.

It is a challenge to understand this truth on the profound spiritual level where it exists. But my God! – what better way to spend your time than inquiring and contemplating this truth?

All for today. More to come. As Byron Katie says from her profound, awakened first-hand experience: the Universe is friendly. How are you seeing that today?

Alchemical Cauldrons

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This time is about alchemy. This time in my life. This time on the planet. Many of my posts will be about alchemy. A friend is struggling with physical illness. Physical illness can be a powerful alchemical cauldron. I use that term to mean any experience in life that serves as a vessel for the process of alchemy. There are many in life and physical illness is one of them. Parenthood is another. I have no kids so I have not experienced the alchemy of parenthood firsthand, but my imagination is good, so I can imagine.

I am in a different alchemical matrix. One that is more of an alchemical bootcamp. I will title (several) future blog posts this way.

In my life, the rug got pulled out. It was a kind of merciful pull-out in that my husband and I had some time to work with. It was not like the kind where people experience floods and fires and lose everything they own in an hour or two. My pull-out gave me some time to work with. I used it.

I moved, with my husband and two cats to a rock. A Mesa, 8600 feet in the air in the southern Colorado desert. We have no water (that I know of) or electricity on site. We live in two 490 sq ft yurts that are connected and our very handy RV, which is a source of some so-called normalcy, having a toilet and some kitchen applicances. Keep in mind, though, that none of these things are powered or resourced the way your kitchen appliances and toilets (likely) are. Sadly…so sadly….poop doesn’t magically disappear into some municipal water supply. We are accountable to our own poop. Bet you want to sign up for this life right now!

Yesterday, I wanted to cook rice and I did not have much water. I only had what was in my water bottles and that was running low. Once the bottled water is gone, there is no more.

I googled whether I needed to rinse rice or not. Alchemy point: I have always rinsed rice. That is how you do it. Seems small, but not rinsing rice is a challenge to my sense of “the right way to do things.” THAT right there is the main alchemical axis of this kind of life. Constantly challenging the “right, safe, good way to do things.” You’d be surprised how much of your power and identity are caught up in this. It is caught up in innumerable ways in your sense of self, your life and how you live it. So many ways. It is at work almost every moment of every day.

Overwhelmingly Google contributors said to rinse rice. I knew the reasons why, but I wanted to see if there might be a lone voice in the wilderness daring to say it was okay not to rinse. Rinsing the rice to reduce arsenic and dirt convinced me to try.

For days now I’ve been looking for my fine-mesh sieve. It is what I use to rinse rice and quinoa. The mesh is small enough so the grains don’t fall through in the rinsing. Alchemical Point #2: It is what I always use. “Always use” feels very comfortable when you can keep it going, but it is not alchemical. What the fuck do I do now? That’s the voice of alchemy. I’m pretty sure the sieve survived the scorched-earth packing of the final minutes of the move from the townhouse we left, but I do not know what box it is in. We had to rent some storage units, some the size of closets, it is likely in one of them.

For a couple days I did not cook rice because I did not have the sieve. Old me. Has to do it the way she likes. The way it “should” be done. Finally, I punched some slits into a plastic cup and used the smallest amount of water to rinse the rice. Alchemy. I used our Instapot for the first time on the Mesa. I wasn’t sure the solar generator would accommodate the electrical demand of the pot, but it did! Hooray! The sun cooked our rice. We had rice for dinner. It was delicious.