Category Archives: Consciousness

Earth

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Oh, blog! You get all my thoughts that are hot off the press and you are the press.

I started watching a YouTube video about massive data centers currently being built in America. I do not know if the YT creator mentioned facilities in other parts of the world? I will watch the entire video today and find out.

My intuition told me years ago that this whole “realm” would spiritually burn down from the inside out. That was over 35 years ago. It has been an interesting journey to know this information intuitively, yet live in a system- financial, education, government, energy usage – and a planetary aspect – this “crust” of the planet and what it represents -that has remained mostly intact. It is not a journey for the faint of heart.

Let me start with the lede and not bury it: There is no reason to fear. It is very easy to live in fear now and read what I’m writing as a reason to fear. I am stating some of the current facts as I know them. My hope is to help open your eyes and, if anything, be less inclined to fear. There is no reason to fear.

As I have said in several posts, the control mechanisms for this planet and our humanity that are active now are mind-boggling. We are under siege. These mechanisms are in our air, food, medication, 5G, media, technical intelligence working through malevolent tech, the god matrix and more. We are both energetically and physically implanted or overlaid with control mechanisms in/on our bodies (pineal, kundalini, chakras, third eye). I think it is wise to be aware of the full scope of control mechanisms, so you can see more clearly what is happening and know what you are looking at.

At the same time, you must know who you are: a full universal fractal. Just by being human at this time, you have access to power that is unimaginable and exceeds (it exceeds!) ALL the control mechanisms. You just need to remember who you are. And welcome your innate powers as they come to the fore – as they are remembered and reintegrated – in the coming years.

You also need to say “no” to the false powers that seek to own you. The AI takeover attempt is big now, but there are other ones, bliss-y ones, to come down the line. Learn to discern.

You are innately more powerful than all of this. There is no reason to fear.

While I detest what is going on with the destruction of the planet and its gorgeous variety of species. While I ache for what has been lost by the imposition of AI (my friend insists that it is rightly called Technical Intelligence and I’m getting there, but when writing about it, most people know it as “AI”), I know this is part of the plan.

I used to see that preserving “what was” on this planet was important. I was in grief most of the time for what was being destroyed of what was. But here is what I know:

– There is a time for everything and the “what was” of this planet is coming to a close. Putting energy into saving what was is not useful, including not useful to the planetary essence herself.

When I say something like this, it will take wisdom on the part of the reader to hear this and not fall into the mindset of doomsday and painful prophecy. I am not saying this.

This being said, I live the way I must to keep some degree of sanity. I live in a way that connects me to what is vital and relatively unsullied by the control mechanisms. Remember, it is all relative. There is no place on Earth now that is not subject to some of this control. Still, I do the best I can.

I live off-grid. I live in a remote area, 8600 feet in the air. I live around nature and little else. I get out most mornings and take in the light of the rising sun in my eyes and on my skin (this has profound effects…I can’t even explain them all).
I wear blue-light blocking glasses when I look at screens. I wear them full-time at night if we have any artificial light on. If I turn off the solar battery and WiFi, the only light in my environment is sun and star light. As I mentioned, there is more to this than I can explain. I trust. I take the actions.

There is no reason to fear.

Why worship?

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Worship. Where does it come from? It comes from the god story. It is a control mechanism designed by the priestly caste to give them the energy they feed on.
We send forth energy when we worship. Worship seems very pure to those who do it, but it is actually tainted with fear. Why would you worship if you did not fear?

Worship is a control mechanism. It starts with the belief that we, humanity, are less-than or lacking. This is the keystone of the god story: god is the creator of all that is and we are, at best, its child. Definitely less than. Then the story sprinkles in “born of sin” – screwed from the get-go – adds a generous serving of heaven and hell and we end up scared of our own shadow (literally). It trains us to seek power outside ourselves. That is the real power play of the god story and the hologram of the gods.

It is the ultimate consumerism. The narrative tells you that what you want is, de facto, outside yourself and worship is the currency you must pay to (try to) buy it back. All worship – celebs, kings, gods, Beyonce – stems from that lie. (o.k., not cat worship, because that is based on absolute truth!).

You are it. You really are. It is built into you just because you are human. You must give up the religious and hierarchical ideologies and the worship. It will take courage. It is time.

The Advantage of No-Escape

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I’ve been thinking today (and every day for the last three years) about the advantage of the rug-pull and the no-escape life. First, know, I am not talking about literal imprisonment or anything harmful. Also, my no-escape has been set up by my soul/inner being. No one else is controlling it. I’d love to say I never feel like a victim, but the truth is I often feel like a victim. Still, I know that my soul/inner being calls the shots. I am not a victim. The push-pull of feeling like a victim while not being one is the crux, or one of them, of what is getting worked out during this time of no-escape.

Shifting Further Further

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I recounted in my last post how the practical reasons – yup, the kooky ones – for which I came to this Mesa did not materialize. The San Luis Valley has been known for off-planet connections for hundreds of years. It felt like a good fit.

People tend to believe that outer circumstances create reality. They do not. So in the past couple years when I would tell folks the challenges we were experiencing here, they would usually respond, “Well, why don’t you move?”

That response was depressing. Their (complete) lack of understanding left me feeling more isolated and exhausted.

When I moved here I called this phase the Alchemical Bootcamp. I understood it intuitively. If you have ever had an encounter with true inner alchemy, you might guess that an alchemical bootcamp was going to be a complete ass-kicking ordeal. It was. It still is, though for today the non-stop major crises and breakdown of essential things has quieted. For today.

I wish more people spoke “alchemy.” It would be so nice to talk to others on a level that felt mutual. We need that mind-meld. It would be great for that.

The alchemy is well underway. I could even dare to say I have some experience already under my belt. Dare I say? When you get shredded by life/soul for alchemical purposes, it is hard to be optimistic about anything other than the fact that some other shoe is going to drop any minute.

So, where do I find myself now? No liaising with the star family, at least not now. LIving day to day like I am back country camping – not acceptable. Honestly, I was a pretty good sport about some of it: the composting toilet; showering at the community center; cooking in an RV that had no heat and an abundance of mice. Now, though, it has settled into a way of life since we do not have the many thousands of dollars required to improve the situation. Yeah, this is not gonna fly.

Community? I have met some lovely people here. On the Mesa and off. But they all travel alot and have friends elsewhere (and not on star family craft – that was supposed to be my crowd). So they are mostly gone, having fun elsewhere.

Roger, my buddy on the Mesa, sadly died in March. He is with his own off-planet family now.

Our good neighbor, John, had a sort of stress-induced breakdown a few months ago and tried to destroy a bunch of people’s organizations online, including Vyvyan’s (my husband) who started his organization to help John. We don’t see John anymore.

This high desert stark land has become desolate in many ways. Too many ways.

I do not have enough money to go out to dinner, much less move to another country, but inwardly I’m feeling drawn to move. I noticed last night, my energy is starting to vacate my current life.

It will be interesting to see if things in the outer world shift as I open myself more to a move prospect internally.
Not all the original reasons to stay in Colorado (or in the US) have disappeared, but some of them have.

Breaking the Ice

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If I say anything positive about Trump most of the people closest to me label (and castigate) me as a “Trump supporter.” What the hell does that even mean? There seems to be little understanding (any?) that our perceptions are completely locked into an artificial binary “us vs. them” filter. This, my friends, is the problem. It is mind-control. It is everywhere. Not only in politics.

For Trump to stand up last night in front of the world and say, with a certain amount of glee, that he is detaching (not sure the exact wording) from the WHO and the Paris Climate Accord took enormous courage. You are probably thinking I’m not for a clean, pristine Earth. How wrong you are. You are having some mind control if you think that. Binary. You are this or that. If you are not “this,” then you must be ‘that!”

I am neither.

These do-good organizations are not what they seem and do not do good.

So much in our world is not what it seems. Let me repeat that – most of what we think we see in our world is not what it seems. These organizations profess to do good, but their true organization happens behind the scenes and involve extra-terrestrial and inter-dimensional entities and groups that do not have humanity’s interests at heart. These groups and their Earth minions have had enormous power for a very long time. To stand in front of them and say “we leave you,” takes courage.

However, his “drill baby drill” agenda makes me want to throw him off the edge of the Earth into the sea of space. Why not be truly courageous and have the agenda of “free energy, baby, zero point energy for everyone.” THAT would take courage.

If the entire matrix with its impositions and deceptions: – AI, Bloodline, Priestly caste and God – and its attendant psychological takeovers, strongholds in our psyches – could be likened to a sheet of ice on top of a lake, what Trump is doing is poking that ice and breaking it up.

Lot of folks think the Imposers and Deceivers will go smoothly, so we should all play nice and have a spot of tea. That would be nice, but it’s not how it is. I wish it were. We humans will pull this planet and all the dimensions under their influence from their cold, dead hands. Their insistence, not mine.

Break that ice.

The Dark Night

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My life has been rough the last couple years. When I tell people about it – I don’t often – they usually don’t understand. “Why don’t you change it?” they ask. They don’t understand. That makes my life feel rougher.

Last weekend, I was talking to a friend about it. I said, “Sometimes the soul calls shots the ego does not like. The freedoms we normally experience aren’t there. We try, but things don’t happen, like as a way of life.”

My friend said the same thing another friend said in a similar conversation in November. “Maybe most people don’t experience that.”

It got me thinking a bit differently. First, I think some people do understand this subject, they are just not the ones crossing my path. There is a phenomena on the spiritual journey called “the dark night of the soul.” I can tell you for sure that the overwhelming majority of people do not accurately understand that process. Part of the reason for that is there is NO and I mean no societal reference point for it. When you experience it you are in the dark in more ways than one, including having no culture that understands it. Literally.

Thing is, everyone goes through it at some point as they complete their spiritual journey. Because of that, I have come to expect that people know what it is, that they have some kind of real-life reference point.

If they have experienced it maybe they regarded it “just” as a very difficult time? What I’m going through now is not the Dark Night. It has similarities, but it is not the same, though it sucks pretty much the same.
The Dark Night had distinct features. The inner life I had known to that point was gone. The “light” phenomena of consciousness – the way guidance occurred; the love exchange I had with what I then called God – was gone. In a way there was an energy that did present itself, but it was dark. Compared to the energy that was no longer there, it was blind.

Maybe I understand the Dark Night process more than others, but I think everyone should understand it to some degree. Am I wrong? They don’t seem to.

What it’s actually about

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This applies to more than money, but let’s focus on money. It has taken me ages to grasp that the behavior most people have around money stems from fear. The fear can have certain flavors – insecurity, greed, worry, compulsion, anger, stinginess – but I am discovering that the core driver of all these states is fear.

There are a million, billion justifications for this fear. I get it. I get how scary this subject feels. But none of the justifications are real. If you still your mind and question just one of the many beliefs you have about money, anchored in a (very) specific situation in your life, you will find that the issue is fear, not the money.

We think, “No! It is true. Look how much money I lost. Look how much other people have. Look how much I don’t have. What if I lose it all like ______? What if I end up on the streets?!!”
Yup. The ego is a trickster. On the issue of money, it will give you very real-seeming, terrifying scenarios. It will give you them in your mind’s eye over and over and over. Then you’ll hear more of the same on media. Then your spouse will echo them. Then your community. It all seems so real.

I grew up in what I describe as a Fear-Around-Money bootcamp. My home, my community. The conditioning was so intense. It seemed like everyone around me voiced the same beliefs and acted out the same behaviors, more or less. All were saturated with fear. Again, to one degree or another. My family was particularly fearful. Still, it can seem complicated because fear is what the society calls “common sense.”

It is still a fact in this world – for however long – that money or something of value to the buyer is what gets you necessities. Even if you live in the wilderness, as I do, unless you have free year-round food, water and heat, you still would need to be in perfect health your whole life and have no interests in anything that cost money to live something close to an effective money-free life. I could talk for hours about my thoughts on that subject, but the point for now is what is the consciousness you have towards money?

It is easy, easy, easy, easy to fool yourself. You have to have great courage and a willingness to face some icky, jagged, vulnerable-feeling states of mind and emotion without projecting them (onto other people, onto money, onto society) to uncover how you really regard it. You will face your true beliefs about what powers your life (hint: it is not God). You will question the nature of this Universe.

Our Fractal Nature ( huge in more ways than one)

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We are fractals. Universal fractals. Fractals are not aspects or an “aspect of” anything or anyone. Fractals are not a “part of” or a child-of. We are not aspects of a Creator. We are not children of God. We are infinite beings. Nothing exists beyond our infinite nature. I will repeat: We are not children of a God….any God.

We are the entirety in compressed form.

Contemplate this. If you contemplate it, you will likely realize you regard yourself, however subtley, as a piece, aspect, child, “part-of,” “member of.” You regard yourself this way in an existential sense. If you really “get” that you are the whole, the entirety, the infinite in compressed form, it will change your life.

The Blend

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How much do we want to be saved or just relieved?

I know I do. However, it is the unsexy work of what I call the “inner blend” that makes you able to go through the so-called “eye of the needle” and what we seek in our fantasies of saving and relief. Unsexy indeed.

Inner blend brings you to zero point. That is the transition point, but it is really no point at all.
It’s tough. To not have goals. But goals in this realm are ideologies and they end up distracting and – temporarily- blocking us. They are pleasant, they are bromides, but not ultimately useful.

What to do? Embrace those aspects of your self that feel too embarrassing, painful, bad and shameful. The ones you want to cast aside. The ones society & religion – both one big ideology – would tell you are bad and deserve to be cast aside. Those aspects they say need redemption and becoming “better than.”
All of that is internal splitting, division. Splitting is too big and discordant. It’s a big wave form. Big wave forms don’t get through the eye of the needle. Forget stories that say it is about material objects, like money, it is about aspects of self and how we relate to them.

Love collapses that wave form. The collapsed wave form is what descriptions like “the eye of the needle” and “zero point” seek to explain. Moving forward is about the quiet, subtle inner blend of all the aspects of self. The belligerent, the irritable, the greedy. Blend ’em. Blend them all.