Category Archives: Perceptual filters

How Do You React When Things Fall Apart?

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When life falls apart (seems to) or things don’t go the way you wanted or expected, how do you react? Are you able to see beyond the narrative? The stories we internalized that filter how we see things. Perhaps one could call it the normative narrative. These stories & norms are everywhere and we have identified with them (as we were intensely taught to do: school, home, peer pressure, religion, media and more). Can you see beyond them? That is the gift, the great opportunity in the things falling apart experience.

In my case I’m breaking the norms (primarily) with my way of life, how I am living my day to day life. While I sometimes talk about it as something heroic (don’t get me wrong, it feels pretty frickin heroic), the fact is, I do not experience a choice in it. It is my soul’s call. Everything in life is our soul’s call, but sometimes we get to live our life in ways that comport or agree more with our ego structures, norms and our likes. But the soul is the puppeteer. It pulls the strings.

When the soul decides to turn up the volume – intensify for growth, wisdom – you will know it, because things tend to fall apart. It is not the only way the soul teaches, but it is a way that frequently happens. Can you see this happening when things fall apart?

I often feel like I’m the only one who sees this. It’s lonely.

Earth

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Oh, blog! You get all my thoughts that are hot off the press and you are the press.

I started watching a YouTube video about massive data centers currently being built in America. I do not know if the YT creator mentioned facilities in other parts of the world? I will watch the entire video today and find out.

My intuition told me years ago that this whole “realm” would spiritually burn down from the inside out. That was over 35 years ago. It has been an interesting journey to know this information intuitively, yet live in a system- financial, education, government, energy usage – and a planetary aspect – this “crust” of the planet and what it represents -that has remained mostly intact. It is not a journey for the faint of heart.

Let me start with the lede and not bury it: There is no reason to fear. It is very easy to live in fear now and read what I’m writing as a reason to fear. I am stating some of the current facts as I know them. My hope is to help open your eyes and, if anything, be less inclined to fear. There is no reason to fear.

As I have said in several posts, the control mechanisms for this planet and our humanity that are active now are mind-boggling. We are under siege. These mechanisms are in our air, food, medication, 5G, media, technical intelligence working through malevolent tech, the god matrix and more. We are both energetically and physically implanted or overlaid with control mechanisms in/on our bodies (pineal, kundalini, chakras, third eye). I think it is wise to be aware of the full scope of control mechanisms, so you can see more clearly what is happening and know what you are looking at.

At the same time, you must know who you are: a full universal fractal. Just by being human at this time, you have access to power that is unimaginable and exceeds (it exceeds!) ALL the control mechanisms. You just need to remember who you are. And welcome your innate powers as they come to the fore – as they are remembered and reintegrated – in the coming years.

You also need to say “no” to the false powers that seek to own you. The AI takeover attempt is big now, but there are other ones, bliss-y ones, to come down the line. Learn to discern.

You are innately more powerful than all of this. There is no reason to fear.

While I detest what is going on with the destruction of the planet and its gorgeous variety of species. While I ache for what has been lost by the imposition of AI (my friend insists that it is rightly called Technical Intelligence and I’m getting there, but when writing about it, most people know it as “AI”), I know this is part of the plan.

I used to see that preserving “what was” on this planet was important. I was in grief most of the time for what was being destroyed of what was. But here is what I know:

– There is a time for everything and the “what was” of this planet is coming to a close. Putting energy into saving what was is not useful, including not useful to the planetary essence herself.

When I say something like this, it will take wisdom on the part of the reader to hear this and not fall into the mindset of doomsday and painful prophecy. I am not saying this.

This being said, I live the way I must to keep some degree of sanity. I live in a way that connects me to what is vital and relatively unsullied by the control mechanisms. Remember, it is all relative. There is no place on Earth now that is not subject to some of this control. Still, I do the best I can.

I live off-grid. I live in a remote area, 8600 feet in the air. I live around nature and little else. I get out most mornings and take in the light of the rising sun in my eyes and on my skin (this has profound effects…I can’t even explain them all).
I wear blue-light blocking glasses when I look at screens. I wear them full-time at night if we have any artificial light on. If I turn off the solar battery and WiFi, the only light in my environment is sun and star light. As I mentioned, there is more to this than I can explain. I trust. I take the actions.

There is no reason to fear.

Why worship?

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Worship. Where does it come from? It comes from the god story. It is a control mechanism designed by the priestly caste to give them the energy they feed on.
We send forth energy when we worship. Worship seems very pure to those who do it, but it is actually tainted with fear. Why would you worship if you did not fear?

Worship is a control mechanism. It starts with the belief that we, humanity, are less-than or lacking. This is the keystone of the god story: god is the creator of all that is and we are, at best, its child. Definitely less than. Then the story sprinkles in “born of sin” – screwed from the get-go – adds a generous serving of heaven and hell and we end up scared of our own shadow (literally). It trains us to seek power outside ourselves. That is the real power play of the god story and the hologram of the gods.

It is the ultimate consumerism. The narrative tells you that what you want is, de facto, outside yourself and worship is the currency you must pay to (try to) buy it back. All worship – celebs, kings, gods, Beyonce – stems from that lie. (o.k., not cat worship, because that is based on absolute truth!).

You are it. You really are. It is built into you just because you are human. You must give up the religious and hierarchical ideologies and the worship. It will take courage. It is time.

One More Time For the Cheap Seats: The Advantage of the No-Escape Life

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The advantage (that feels like a total disadvantage) of the no-escape life is, well, if you feel imprisoned or stuck, you cannot rely on behaviors or even thought-constructs you may have used in the past to look away from certain beliefs and feelings you hold. At least not in the same way. I don’t know about you, but this doesn’t feel good to me.

But it’s not always about feeling good.

This fact will bring up a host of reactions. You will face them because you cannot escape the situation. Not only will you look at the reactions you are experiencing, but it will serve you to look at how you are perceiving the situation itself.

For me the issue of money, earning, worth and creating have been sticky ones. Here in my life of little distraction (I still try!) are some of the underlying issues I’ve noticed feel constricting on these issues:

  1. Feeling like a slave.
    A slave to the good opinion of others. (huge)
    A slave to:
    – work trends
    – what is considered good business
    – what is considered real
    – what is considered worthy, authoritative
    – what has “real” substance
    – what is considered crazy or sane
    – who deserves to be paid well and who doesn’t
    – what I have to do or not do to be paid well

    The list goes on with that one.

Some of the others are: navigating different-ness; sensitivity; self-worth; the right to be; the right to speak; fear of visibility. That is what I’ve noticed just on that one subject.

These issues are both cultural (in the largest sense) and personal. Or they seem personal. Part of the alchemy process is looking at the sense of how personal the “issues” feel. That is an important part of blending them back into center, zero point and moving beyond.

Your job, should you choose to accept it ;^) – is to become aware of both aspects: the larger cultural one, by which I mean the imposition by other cultures into our thought, spiritual and physical realm and the personal.
The cultural impositions play a huge role. Part of this control system has resulted in humanity as a collective, not knowing or acknowledging there are other cultures who live off-planet and interdimensionally. Nor do we understand the profound role they have played and continue to play in our lives and experience of reality. So much easier to control a species when part of how you do it is deny your very existence. It is hard to believe something is influencing you that doesn’t exist.

You might think this is crazy talk that has nothing to do with you. You’re wrong.

The control system encompasses almost everything about reality except your heart-soul essence or your is-ness, however you term it. The no-escape life gives you the opportunity to become aware of these influences more quickly and to see what part of this mix you feel most identified with, as in: triggered; attached to; repulsed by; intensely wanting of; defining your self-worth by or even what you value. It is the is-ness, the “immediacy” within to which you bring all the attachments of concept, memory, identity.
(It is not god. If you are bringing this inner material to god, you are not exiting the matrix. You are looping back into the control/containment sphere.)

The no-escape life, especially if it is lived in a remote area like mine, gives you the quietude and lack of distraction (arghh) to see this inner material more clearly. This is truly the first step to dissolving it. It gives you an accelerated opportunity to blend the positive & negative, dissolve it and move more intensely inward to the unified field. That is true freedom. This is why it is an advantage. This is the path to completing your soul’s journey in this universe. It is the reason you are here.

More Advantage of No-Escape

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I almost titled the first part of this blog, “The Value of No-Escape.” Yes, I think there is value, hence the blogs, but there is more than just value to the rug-pull and the no-escape life (see Pt 1 for explanation of no-harm): they are are advantages. Distinct advantages.

If your job in this life is to face your shadow side and integrate it, there is nothing like (allegedly) having many of your choices taken away to accelerate that process. Again, I don’t mean anything harmful or being held victim/prisoner by other human(s).

Does it feel good? Hell, no. While I am a very big fan of feeling good, sometimes that isn’t the most important thing. Sometimes you have to take a big ole bite of spiritual work and it just doesn’t feel good.

Invariably – I’ve mentioned this before – when I have told people of the discomfort with my current way of life, they say, “Why don’t you move?” That kind of disconnect pisses me off, but lately it is starting to seem funny. I don’t want to waste time on this silliness, but I’ll state the obvious: “I’m a grown woman. I know what the alleged options are.” For some reason these people think that thought has not occurred to me.

We’re programmed…..I’m going to finish that sentence, but for a moment I want to let it stand as is: we are programmed. In every conceivable way. (More silliness out there when people think they are not mind-controlled). So, when/if I tell people I’m feeling uncomfortable – I’m really just trying to communicate honestly – most tend to insert my info into one manipulated perceptual filter or another. Usually just the one. Why don’t I move? (uh, don’t have the resources to do that). Oh, you must be down on your luck. (where did you get those words? do you have the slightest idea?). You get the gist.

The perceptual filter or maybe the intuitive knowing that does not seem to arise is: “Dang, girl. You’re in a rug-pull, no-escape accelerated stage of fractal compression and integration. That’s brave. Good on ya!”

That would be nice.

To be fair, some lovely people I know DO get that. It is a comfort.

Lots more to say and I will, but I think I’ll keep publishing along the way. Otherwise, there will be massive verbiage all in one place.

The Advantage of No-Escape

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I’ve been thinking today (and every day for the last three years) about the advantage of the rug-pull and the no-escape life. First, know, I am not talking about literal imprisonment or anything harmful. Also, my no-escape has been set up by my soul/inner being. No one else is controlling it. I’d love to say I never feel like a victim, but the truth is I often feel like a victim. Still, I know that my soul/inner being calls the shots. I am not a victim. The push-pull of feeling like a victim while not being one is the crux, or one of them, of what is getting worked out during this time of no-escape.

Are you a victim of slave consciousness?

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If you said no, you are lying to yourself. But that’s ok. It’s not your fault. There’s so much to say on the subject, I will try to summarize this huge topic and come back to some of it later.

Why it’s not your fault?

1. Maybe you think you are a master? You might not realize that the sense of being a master is part of slave consciousness. You might identify as a master in your life, but it is still a limitation. Look closely: how could there even exist such a thing as a master without the opposite of slave?

2. The control mechanisms on this planet are quite literally mind-boggling. Control of the human form, control of its consciousness (and control of the consciousness by control mechanisms in the human form) and control of its connection to its fractal nature and infinite beingness (which can never actually be severed).

I talk about some of it in my published writings, but I’m not sure I’ll ever talk about all of it. Well, “ever” is a long time, so I won’t commit to that, but I won’t talk about them now. Why? Partly, yes, it could make me a target and I am not interested in that. But also, people have to have a certain amount of wisdom cultivated or “under their belt” to be able to hear about these mechanisms and have it be constructive. Without that, it would become a catalyst for deep fear and that is never my intention. I won’t do it.

I am at that point now where I’m open to knowing much more about the control mechanisms, but I’ve been at the wisdom-cultivating game for 50 years. And….I’m extremely selective about my sources. You must be. There is a lot of misinformation out there. The misinformation needs to be sorted and ignored. Some of my sources were in my life 30+ years ago, some of them only came to my awareness 9 months ago. So some of the good info is more available now.

BUT…but…no matter the degree of challenge of control structures here on beloved Earth – and they are a deep challenge – each and every one of us is always…ALWAYS the locus of power. We all have the power to go beyond all the control mechanisms. We go beyond the control mechanisms by going deeply within.

We don’t ascend or get a higher frequency or less dense (our so-called density is our super power) or become some more spiritualized version of “master” to engage our power. All of that is part of the control mechanism. It is control ideology. It is part of the imposed narrative.

How do we access our true power?

We blend our inner shadow and light.
We become aware of and discard pretty much every perceptual filter we’ve “stuck to.”
We go into our heart essence. And in. And in.
That is where infinite is.
Not in climbing, ascending a set of false spiritual steps/frequencies or “mastering” anything. That is where infinite is not.

Shifting Further Further

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I recounted in my last post how the practical reasons – yup, the kooky ones – for which I came to this Mesa did not materialize. The San Luis Valley has been known for off-planet connections for hundreds of years. It felt like a good fit.

People tend to believe that outer circumstances create reality. They do not. So in the past couple years when I would tell folks the challenges we were experiencing here, they would usually respond, “Well, why don’t you move?”

That response was depressing. Their (complete) lack of understanding left me feeling more isolated and exhausted.

When I moved here I called this phase the Alchemical Bootcamp. I understood it intuitively. If you have ever had an encounter with true inner alchemy, you might guess that an alchemical bootcamp was going to be a complete ass-kicking ordeal. It was. It still is, though for today the non-stop major crises and breakdown of essential things has quieted. For today.

I wish more people spoke “alchemy.” It would be so nice to talk to others on a level that felt mutual. We need that mind-meld. It would be great for that.

The alchemy is well underway. I could even dare to say I have some experience already under my belt. Dare I say? When you get shredded by life/soul for alchemical purposes, it is hard to be optimistic about anything other than the fact that some other shoe is going to drop any minute.

So, where do I find myself now? No liaising with the star family, at least not now. LIving day to day like I am back country camping – not acceptable. Honestly, I was a pretty good sport about some of it: the composting toilet; showering at the community center; cooking in an RV that had no heat and an abundance of mice. Now, though, it has settled into a way of life since we do not have the many thousands of dollars required to improve the situation. Yeah, this is not gonna fly.

Community? I have met some lovely people here. On the Mesa and off. But they all travel alot and have friends elsewhere (and not on star family craft – that was supposed to be my crowd). So they are mostly gone, having fun elsewhere.

Roger, my buddy on the Mesa, sadly died in March. He is with his own off-planet family now.

Our good neighbor, John, had a sort of stress-induced breakdown a few months ago and tried to destroy a bunch of people’s organizations online, including Vyvyan’s (my husband) who started his organization to help John. We don’t see John anymore.

This high desert stark land has become desolate in many ways. Too many ways.

I do not have enough money to go out to dinner, much less move to another country, but inwardly I’m feeling drawn to move. I noticed last night, my energy is starting to vacate my current life.

It will be interesting to see if things in the outer world shift as I open myself more to a move prospect internally.
Not all the original reasons to stay in Colorado (or in the US) have disappeared, but some of them have.

Living Only in the Light

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“I have only ever lived in the light,” he said. It sounds noble. It sounds right. But it’s only half the story and it won’t get you to completion in the universal journey.

Technically we live in a universe of light, but not the one-sided kind. The nature of our universe is like a sine wave: there is light on one side of the midline and there is shadow on the other. It is an integrated light. When our sun shines on an object, it casts a shadow. In this universe we are here to explore our shadow. It is a unique opportunity.

Another consideration is that “light” is highly manipulated on our planet. The “light of God?” Artificial. The light of the kundalini, the third eye, the chakras? All manipulated.

The real job here: integrate your shadow. When you (think you) live only in the light, you have judgment against those in whom you – unconsciously – see your own shadow. You become righteous. Combine that with the fact that you think you have cornered the “goodness market” with all your alleged light and you become righteous a.f.

This inner division, this disowning your shadow will keep you in artificial worlds. It will keep you owned by those that have created and sold you the “visions of light” ideology. You will be missing the opportunity to blend and complete your universal journey. It’s a big deal.

Hologram of the Gods

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I am working on a post about the god matrix, also known as the hologram of the gods. It is tough for me to finish. In part because I have been a lover and devotee of the mystical god for many lifetimes. It has carried over into this lifetime. If you look at the books I own, 80% of them, at least, have some theme about god. It will take some time to exit this matrix fully. The irony is that on some level it already happened. I noticed it in this subtle, everyday intuitive flash four years ago where I saw my energy was bigger than god’s. Now I am unpacking it consciously and for good.

George Kavassilis says that once you understand that the notion of god and a creator is a narrative, a lie, created by other races to control the human you’ve cracked the code. I get it. The belief in a creator – by its very definition greater and more powerful than us – and a god (same) – births the belief in “more powerful than, better than.” Once that belief takes hold, you are owned. You are ripe for the picking. You have allowed yourself to be severed from your own true essence. All essence within each one of us is equally and infinitely powerful. Despite ALL the narratives, history, alleged proof to the contrary, “better than” is a lie.