Category Archives: Soul

Info Streams and Earth Restoration

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There are many information streams in the ethers. You may think you’re tapping into the “highest” (really, deepest) information stream about…anything – future, your self, the self and futures of others, the Earth – when in fact you are tapping into something less than that.

I’ve been thinking about how to articulate a litmus test for testing the quality of the information one taps into, but I couldn’t. My first thought was, “It has to be uplifting.” But there are many sweet energy/information streams in existence that are still limited or relatively limited or even composed of flat-out disinformation.

Earth restoration and “green” anything is a disinformation mode. Shocking, isn’t it? I used to be a big proponent of Earth conservation and restoration. Some of that was because of my love of nature and the Earth and some of it was because of limited information.

The Earth is evolving like, hopefully, the human is. I think one big (dis)information stream says that an evolved Earth will look like some kind of paradise, a paradisiacal version of what exists now or has existed. I definitely used to think that. I used to think, “When all is well, there will be natural beauty, the trees will be whole, animals will be free and peaceful (that one I still want), streams will be clear, air will be crystalline, etc.” But now I think Earth’s evolution will look like this layer of her physical existence and all that exists on her crust – civilization as we know it – will disappear and she will implode this level of her reality into a star. This is not to say I justify or can even slightly abide the degradation and disrespect the Earth endures. I cannot. It is heart-wrenching. But I know her future and it isn’t going back to any version of the past. Why would I wish that on her?

(No, we will not explode when she implodes…that is another disinformation stream.)

When I hear someone’s vision of the future and it involves some sort of restoration of what exists or has existed in the natural world, I know immediately they are tapping into disinformation. That is not true Earth love (yes! I know it feels that way) because she wants to truly evolve and it does not include anything of the old or what has been.

Oh Blog, I come to you….

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Oh blog, I come to you…with first thoughts. I wrote something I actually like. It says alot. Here is the link: https://janerothfeld.com/about-jane/. (The contact button on the page does not seem to work, so ignore that for now.)

So my husband just brought the whole composting toilet into the yurt, because it was too frozen to open in the shed where it lives. Usually we can just bring the “necessary parts” into the yurt, because, yes, it needs to thaw before it can be cleaned. Even with that – having to bring the poop bucket into the yurt to let it thaw, which is (so much) more than enough – he said, “This comes under the ‘things I never thought I’d do’ category.”

When those things you do that you never thought you would do are ultimately thrilling – the marathon, parachuting from a plane – that’s one thing. What is this thing he and I are living where almost-daily we do unpleasant things we never thought we’d do? Humbling. Yes. Sucky. For sure. There’s more to it, I write about it all the time, but we don’t get the thrill. I can guarantee that.

About his awakening, the spiritual teacher, Lester Levenson, said, “I was lucky. I had a gun to my head.” He was referring to the fact that he had had a serious heart attack in his forties and was told by the doctors to basically go home and die. Instead he went home and underwent a profound inner inventory and completely woke up from the illusion of duality. The fact that his life was on the line was a vital accelerant.

Is that the formula for waking up? Nope. Just as getting ready to hang yourself, as Eckhart Tolle did, is not a formula for awakening, though that was his story. Same with Byron Katie who experienced her awakening – when the “work found her” is how she would put it – while on the floor of a halfway-house because she felt she did not deserve to sleep in a bed. None of these are formulas for waking up. If most of us attempt to hang ourselves with a rope we will die.

However, when the soul wants to accelerate awakening, it will often bring in a “gun to the head” situation. In my case, jobs & savings completely disappeared and did not reappear. For other people it can be a serious health issue, like Lester Levenson and many others I know right now.

These back-to-the-wall situations pull an intense focus and allow your soul to move through resistance and illusion that you, the human side of the construct, would maintain…at all costs. Hell, I would. Wouldn’t you?

How Do You React When Things Fall Apart?

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When life falls apart (seems to) or things don’t go the way you wanted or expected, how do you react? Are you able to see beyond the narrative? The stories we internalized that filter how we see things. Perhaps one could call it the normative narrative. These stories & norms are everywhere and we have identified with them (as we were intensely taught to do: school, home, peer pressure, religion, media and more). Can you see beyond them? That is the gift, the great opportunity in the things falling apart experience.

In my case I’m breaking the norms (primarily) with my way of life, how I am living my day to day life. While I sometimes talk about it as something heroic (don’t get me wrong, it feels pretty frickin heroic), the fact is, I do not experience a choice in it. It is my soul’s call. Everything in life is our soul’s call, but sometimes we get to live our life in ways that comport or agree more with our ego structures, norms and our likes. But the soul is the puppeteer. It pulls the strings.

When the soul decides to turn up the volume – intensify for growth, wisdom – you will know it, because things tend to fall apart. It is not the only way the soul teaches, but it is a way that frequently happens. Can you see this happening when things fall apart?

I often feel like I’m the only one who sees this. It’s lonely.

We Are the Disclosure, but…..

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Lately I’ve been hearing a similar thing from sources I trust. They are saying we, the humans on Earth, are the impediment to full disclosure. It is not the organizations, governments, secret space programs, cabal, it is us. We have not integrated fully enough to handle the frequencies that disclosure will require.

Others would say we have not raised our vibration or raised our frequency enough. I won’t say that. It is a matter of integration, not ascending. We humans have endured and internalized aeons of conditioning about hierarchies, including the god matrix. Without our belief that we are less than, no hierarchical belief system could take hold. But hierarchical beliefs – all kinds – OWN us.

This is why it is important to understand the difference between the “bliss” of the false spirituality and the deep, unmoveable, soft heart of true integration. Even this makes it sound complicated, but it is not. However, discernment is very important.

We have not integrated our inner reality enough. Again, sounds complicated. When did you last judge your partner, child, neighbor, sibling, mother/father? That is part of the inner reality I’m talking about and you experience it constantly. Start there.

Years ago, someone I trust said (emphatically) that the soul will complete its mission no matter what. I used to get all lofty and feel a sense of power about that. But that is ego. That is the false spirituality. Don’t you want true freedom? It is beyond all good and all not-good. It is not a sensation of bliss. On its journey to freedom, the soul might take you to your knees. That is true power. Does it feel like it? False spirituality/bliss will crumble like a house of cards if the soul turns up its volume. It will not feel good.

You are it. I’ve said it many times, but it’s not a power trip and we know almost nothing but power trips. But we can change that. We can release the fake. Who pissed you off today? Get still and ask the “judge your neighbor” worksheet questions in stillness. This is the power that does not feel like power, but is.

Resources

Why worship?

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Worship. Where does it come from? It comes from the god story. It is a control mechanism designed by the priestly caste to give them the energy they feed on.
We send forth energy when we worship. Worship seems very pure to those who do it, but it is actually tainted with fear. Why would you worship if you did not fear?

Worship is a control mechanism. It starts with the belief that we, humanity, are less-than or lacking. This is the keystone of the god story: god is the creator of all that is and we are, at best, its child. Definitely less than. Then the story sprinkles in “born of sin” – screwed from the get-go – adds a generous serving of heaven and hell and we end up scared of our own shadow (literally). It trains us to seek power outside ourselves. That is the real power play of the god story and the hologram of the gods.

It is the ultimate consumerism. The narrative tells you that what you want is, de facto, outside yourself and worship is the currency you must pay to (try to) buy it back. All worship – celebs, kings, gods, Beyonce – stems from that lie. (o.k., not cat worship, because that is based on absolute truth!).

You are it. You really are. It is built into you just because you are human. You must give up the religious and hierarchical ideologies and the worship. It will take courage. It is time.

One More Time For the Cheap Seats: The Advantage of the No-Escape Life

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The advantage (that feels like a total disadvantage) of the no-escape life is, well, if you feel imprisoned or stuck, you cannot rely on behaviors or even thought-constructs you may have used in the past to look away from certain beliefs and feelings you hold. At least not in the same way. I don’t know about you, but this doesn’t feel good to me.

But it’s not always about feeling good.

This fact will bring up a host of reactions. You will face them because you cannot escape the situation. Not only will you look at the reactions you are experiencing, but it will serve you to look at how you are perceiving the situation itself.

For me the issue of money, earning, worth and creating have been sticky ones. Here in my life of little distraction (I still try!) are some of the underlying issues I’ve noticed feel constricting on these issues:

  1. Feeling like a slave.
    A slave to the good opinion of others. (huge)
    A slave to:
    – work trends
    – what is considered good business
    – what is considered real
    – what is considered worthy, authoritative
    – what has “real” substance
    – what is considered crazy or sane
    – who deserves to be paid well and who doesn’t
    – what I have to do or not do to be paid well

    The list goes on with that one.

Some of the others are: navigating different-ness; sensitivity; self-worth; the right to be; the right to speak; fear of visibility. That is what I’ve noticed just on that one subject.

These issues are both cultural (in the largest sense) and personal. Or they seem personal. Part of the alchemy process is looking at the sense of how personal the “issues” feel. That is an important part of blending them back into center, zero point and moving beyond.

Your job, should you choose to accept it ;^) – is to become aware of both aspects: the larger cultural one, by which I mean the imposition by other cultures into our thought, spiritual and physical realm and the personal.
The cultural impositions play a huge role. Part of this control system has resulted in humanity as a collective, not knowing or acknowledging there are other cultures who live off-planet and interdimensionally. Nor do we understand the profound role they have played and continue to play in our lives and experience of reality. So much easier to control a species when part of how you do it is deny your very existence. It is hard to believe something is influencing you that doesn’t exist.

You might think this is crazy talk that has nothing to do with you. You’re wrong.

The control system encompasses almost everything about reality except your heart-soul essence or your is-ness, however you term it. The no-escape life gives you the opportunity to become aware of these influences more quickly and to see what part of this mix you feel most identified with, as in: triggered; attached to; repulsed by; intensely wanting of; defining your self-worth by or even what you value. It is the is-ness, the “immediacy” within to which you bring all the attachments of concept, memory, identity.
(It is not god. If you are bringing this inner material to god, you are not exiting the matrix. You are looping back into the control/containment sphere.)

The no-escape life, especially if it is lived in a remote area like mine, gives you the quietude and lack of distraction (arghh) to see this inner material more clearly. This is truly the first step to dissolving it. It gives you an accelerated opportunity to blend the positive & negative, dissolve it and move more intensely inward to the unified field. That is true freedom. This is why it is an advantage. This is the path to completing your soul’s journey in this universe. It is the reason you are here.

Shifting Further Further

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I recounted in my last post how the practical reasons – yup, the kooky ones – for which I came to this Mesa did not materialize. The San Luis Valley has been known for off-planet connections for hundreds of years. It felt like a good fit.

People tend to believe that outer circumstances create reality. They do not. So in the past couple years when I would tell folks the challenges we were experiencing here, they would usually respond, “Well, why don’t you move?”

That response was depressing. Their (complete) lack of understanding left me feeling more isolated and exhausted.

When I moved here I called this phase the Alchemical Bootcamp. I understood it intuitively. If you have ever had an encounter with true inner alchemy, you might guess that an alchemical bootcamp was going to be a complete ass-kicking ordeal. It was. It still is, though for today the non-stop major crises and breakdown of essential things has quieted. For today.

I wish more people spoke “alchemy.” It would be so nice to talk to others on a level that felt mutual. We need that mind-meld. It would be great for that.

The alchemy is well underway. I could even dare to say I have some experience already under my belt. Dare I say? When you get shredded by life/soul for alchemical purposes, it is hard to be optimistic about anything other than the fact that some other shoe is going to drop any minute.

So, where do I find myself now? No liaising with the star family, at least not now. LIving day to day like I am back country camping – not acceptable. Honestly, I was a pretty good sport about some of it: the composting toilet; showering at the community center; cooking in an RV that had no heat and an abundance of mice. Now, though, it has settled into a way of life since we do not have the many thousands of dollars required to improve the situation. Yeah, this is not gonna fly.

Community? I have met some lovely people here. On the Mesa and off. But they all travel alot and have friends elsewhere (and not on star family craft – that was supposed to be my crowd). So they are mostly gone, having fun elsewhere.

Roger, my buddy on the Mesa, sadly died in March. He is with his own off-planet family now.

Our good neighbor, John, had a sort of stress-induced breakdown a few months ago and tried to destroy a bunch of people’s organizations online, including Vyvyan’s (my husband) who started his organization to help John. We don’t see John anymore.

This high desert stark land has become desolate in many ways. Too many ways.

I do not have enough money to go out to dinner, much less move to another country, but inwardly I’m feeling drawn to move. I noticed last night, my energy is starting to vacate my current life.

It will be interesting to see if things in the outer world shift as I open myself more to a move prospect internally.
Not all the original reasons to stay in Colorado (or in the US) have disappeared, but some of them have.

Living Only in the Light

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“I have only ever lived in the light,” he said. It sounds noble. It sounds right. But it’s only half the story and it won’t get you to completion in the universal journey.

Technically we live in a universe of light, but not the one-sided kind. The nature of our universe is like a sine wave: there is light on one side of the midline and there is shadow on the other. It is an integrated light. When our sun shines on an object, it casts a shadow. In this universe we are here to explore our shadow. It is a unique opportunity.

Another consideration is that “light” is highly manipulated on our planet. The “light of God?” Artificial. The light of the kundalini, the third eye, the chakras? All manipulated.

The real job here: integrate your shadow. When you (think you) live only in the light, you have judgment against those in whom you – unconsciously – see your own shadow. You become righteous. Combine that with the fact that you think you have cornered the “goodness market” with all your alleged light and you become righteous a.f.

This inner division, this disowning your shadow will keep you in artificial worlds. It will keep you owned by those that have created and sold you the “visions of light” ideology. You will be missing the opportunity to blend and complete your universal journey. It’s a big deal.

I seem so slow

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There is no Shangri-la. Well, to be honest, I think there is, but it is not our destination as universal fractals. Our destination is not a destination as we understand it. It is within each of us and we are already there. It is not a swoony place like Shangri-la. Because of that it can be easy to miss. It is subtle and, like Dorothy discovered at that end of “The Wizard of Oz,” we are already home. We always have been.

Our minds have been deeply programmed to believe in hierarchies and ideologies, like Shangri-la. Bigger, better, out there, up there, reach & strive for, you’re not it – something else is. Hollywood has played a big part in the programming. We are always looking for bigger, better, out there, sexy, candy.

Years ago I was a participant in an online money mindset group coached by a 28 yr old woman named Laura. It was a humbling experience to be Laura’s student. I was in my 50’s at the time. It took me a minute to alter my mindset about age and wisdom (ha). Laura coached on shifting & releasing limiting inner thought-programs about money and having that shift materialize in the outer world. She understood something about the nature of money that I desperately wanted to understand, but could not quite grasp. The nature of money seemed so set in stone to me.

I felt like young Helen Keller in the movie, “The Miracle Worker,” I saw as a child. As many know, Helen Keller was deaf and blind. In the film, Helen’s teacher, Annie, tries to teach Helen sign language. She furiously makes signs into Helen’s hands hoping she will connect the strange hand movements to the real-world objects they represent, like water. Helen just doesn’t get it. Until… one day she does. By some grace she makes the electric connection that the weird hand movements are a language that Helen finally speaks.

When Coach Laura used to speak about her money insights I felt like Helen before she understood signing. It was just beyond my grasp. Lately, though, I’m starting to get it. It is dawning. It has been many years. I feel slow! It’s about life being a dream and choosing which thoughts, feelings and accompanying sensations we entertain. But first, we must confront the painful beliefs we think are real. As that emptying occurs, there is a freedom to choose. We can choose better stories about money or anything else.

This might sound like positive thinking or affirmations, but it is not. It is about emptying out the life-illusion and embracing the charged “bits” inside ourselves enough to see that this is a game and we are not bound by any memory, history, ideology or identity. Positive thinking can be a big defense mechanism. You have to know yourself well enough to discern how you are using it.

Up until the time we start to experience more choice, we live in ideologies, identities, memories and believe them, often wholeheartedly. Not a problem. If you believe something is real how can you also not believe it is real? It is an evolutionary process.

Two other wise women I work with know that our Universe is benevolent. It’s not a belief for them, it is something they know. I feel slow here too, but am starting to trust it. I still have my moments when I’m pretty dang sure the universe is out to get me, but there is more space around that lately too.

If it is true that the universe is friendly by nature, then I am free to accept alternative interpretations about life and life events. There have been alot of so-called negative life events the past few years, but that too is a point of view.

What is a Fractal Human?

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For my purposes, a fractal is a compressed version of every life expression you’ve ever experienced in this universe. The “you” I’m referring to is your infinite soul or infinite being, whichever term you prefer. There are millions of expressions your soul has had in this universe. Maybe even billions. Not just a few. Fractals may have other meanings in other contexts, but the one I refer to is a compression of all the soul’s universal expressions in this body right now in this lifetime.

Our “fractality” is not literal in the physical sense, meaning we don’t physically display all these life expressions – that would be wild! – but inside ourselves, essentially, we embody all those life expressions.
That is why there is so much density here on Earth. If you embody all your incarnational experiences in one form it is dense and kinda crowded. This density is not “dense” like being dumb and lowly, which is the pervasive meme or mind-control thought about it. This perception – that we are dense, lowly and in need of raising our frequency/vibration to be “better” -is stronger than you think. It controlled me in subtle ways for eaons until recently.

This distinction, between knowing we are fractals wholly complete and infinite in essence vs. thinking we are incomplete, children of a creator in need of saving, “higher’ guidance, and ever-elusive completeness is vitally important.
It has changed my life. I think it can change yours.