The real freedom is within. Nothing….no thing….in the apparent external world has to change for you to be utterly, completely free right this moment. But something internal has to. The internal reality most of us experience is “apparent” too, but not to me…not yet.
Recently I was talking with a friend about ascension. There are aspects I probably cannot articulate yet, but I have known for a long time that part of the process is that the soul releases its identification with form. That does not means we die. We are so trained to equate form with physical life, but that’s part of the problem. The spiritual release and dropping the identification of form (which is so much more than the physical body) is an act of soul and consciousness. It sounds airy-fairy and unrelated to the nuts and bolts of life, but it is neither. It IS profoundly practical and just profound overall.
I longed for this state for most of my life. I studied it. If anyone who experienced it wrote about it, I read it their accounts. I used to be a walking encyclopedia of written spiritual accounts of humans who had awakened to non-duality, soul freedom, ascension. After decades of inquiry, I concluded the shift is an act of grace. If fervor, longing, sincere desire, intuitive knowing, etc., could cause this state, I would have experienced it many times over. I can’t say that none of that matters, because maybe it does and it doesn’t matter anyway because once you have a taste for it, you cannot let it go and you long for that freedom. We long for it because we know it is our true state. But what pulls the final lever of awakening? It seems to be the soul. The human cannot cause it.
I do Zoom calls with Byron Katie almost every week and have done so for over four year. BK is an awakened human. She does not describe herself that way, which is all the more telling of her authenticity, so these are my words and my experience of her. She too has said that her “experience on the floor” (see any of her books to know how she woke up on the floor one morning and nothing was the same) was an act of grace.
The solar generator suddenly started taking in half of what it is supposed to and half of what it was taking in just days before. For no reason. It could only muster a third of a full charge on the battery at the most. We had very little electricity and there was nothing we could do about it. The generator is barely three years old. It should be doing better, but it is not.
Our truck has two threadbare tires that are barely eight months old and two very worn ones that are five months old. These are just two of the vital resources that are challenged now, but there are numerous other important things that are not working: the gas generator, RV heater (our backup “go to” in freezing cold weather) and more.
The cat food for health issues that my cats desperately need is not coming in to the store in Taos I have to drive an hour and a half to get. Special ordered it weeks ago. Gee, they’re sorry, they say. I cannot just sub in food from Walmart – a mere hour’s drive away- because the one cat’s digestive system will just shut down if he doesn’t get the specialty food. The only place that has it is a 6 hr roundtrip drive. I do the drive. On the threadbare tires. That held up, by the grace of God.
Virtually every aspect of my husband’s and my life is disrupted. The solutions to essential problems like getting food; anything (!) involving plumbing (we have none); driving – we must drive a minimum of an hour to get anything, except gas, when the place in town has it; heating; laundry – all of it is disrupted and solutions, that sometimes seem impossible, must be found. How can I get my cats food when the young truck keeps going through tires like tanks of gas and sometimes, like this past Fall, stops working altogether?
The Earth is shifting. The matrix we live in – which is the only reality to the majority of people on Earth – will disappear. I do not know when or how the entire shift will happen, but I know it is underway and will not only become more obvious, but will be all-inclusive. Everyone will feel it.
Like everything, people will experience it differently, but there will be a point when everyone will be affected. The old will not be available in the same way. I am affected now, but I know others who are not as affected or even nearly so. But I do not see how that can remain when the deeper aspects of the shift materialize.
While there is a collective aspect to this life we are living, the journey is always an individual one first and foremost. My soul has its own reasons for putting me through what I am going through. However, I do wonder if part of the reason for this spiritual bootcamp experience in which I am immersed is so I can be a friend, one who has ” been there, ” to others when the ground starts to shift underneath their feet. It is a radically different way to live. It is cool because you must be creative on virtually every level of your being. There is no guide book. But it would be more fun if doing it didn’t suck so much of the time. Ha. Spirit’s sense of humor. It’s having a good laugh.
Some spiritual traditions have what they call the “Via Negativa” and the “Via Positiva.” The Via Negativa and the Via Positiva refer to the paths taken to spiritual freedom. They also refer to the temperament of the spiritual aspirants on those paths as they are very different.
The Via Negative is the path of spiritual renunciation, material minimalism, and an inclination to see God better when there is less distraction from worldly things, noise, experience. The Negativa has a heavy dose of the spiritual destroyer in her. I fit into this category.
The Via Positiva, as best as I can tell since it is foreign to me, sees no conflict between worldliness – involvement in worldly, interactive contact; experiences; material things – and God. It is hard for me to fathom because so much of that reeks of ego to me. ( You must be thinking, “oh she would be fun at a party!”). I love and need a certain amount of people contact, travel and experiences in the world, but I also see that that kind of involvement can originate from fear and be a massive distraction. Life of the party. (Actually I love a good party).
I do not know if this vision of mine is even trustworthy. Does it come from spirit? Can’t be sure. What I do know is I see it constantly. I cannot look away from it.
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The Zero Point: I am looking for a definition online, but not seeing anything great. The closest definition that fits my intuition is this: “when quantum particles reach…zero…the particles then no longer contain any information about what state they were in before. Everything that may have happened to the particle before is perfectly erased.”
That definition is actually pretty cool. But rather than see the field as a bunch of particles, I see it as a field of potentiating, unlimited energy. The zero point field is a field of spiritual energy. It has zero charge, no predetermined form and it is also available for use. It was designed for human use. The quantum physicists could tell us where, if there is a where, it resides around planet Earth. It may be more accurate to say it infuses all the space in and around our planet.
It can be used to create unlimited electricity (see Nikola Tesla or the documentary “The Lost Century,” by Steven Greer), healing energy and potentials that are considered impossible by the current accepted system of reality and, further, anything you desire. The zero point is a state within you as well. When you program for a reality – intend a creation – you can take your program/intention (see it like a shape) to the zero point field for energizing into form. What you are imagining and intending is the shape and spirit or zero point energy gives that shape life. This is all something you can do with your own consciousness. There is outer technology based on this energy and it would be fun to have access to that kind of technology; it would change life as we know it on this planet. However, at this time, because of technology suppression, I suggest you work with your own consciousness. It can be a frustrating waiting game if you are hoping to use the technologies.
The Zero is not the Zero Point:
For those of us with the Negativa temperament who feel a certain rush from environmental minimalism and possess more than a dash of spiritual destroyer energy, it is sometimes helpful -perhaps more than just a little at times – to not conflate zero with zero point. What do I mean by that?
Essentially the Negativa can see absence as Presence. That can result in alot of blocking of life nutrients, including literal ones. People might call it a “holy anorexia,” but it is not that simple. Cutting out old ways of being, identifying and behaving can…can reveal deeper, previously hidden aspects of one’s “self.” There can be an increase of Presence in absence. Also, the emptying out of old ways can turn one – intentionally, unintentionally or both – to the zero point. In a sense you can empty out into the zero point. However, they are not the same. At times it is necessary to clarify that. I am going through that right now.
My life has emptied out in many ways. I am too close to the process to know exactly how or if that is benefiting me. I do know that I reached a point not that long ago where I said “no” to more of the zero. Zero car, amenities (almost zero), machines working and an abundance of upsetting outcomes. I cannot tell you how much “yes” I had in that game, I only know that now if I find myself thinking about the things that are gone or worst, the things that are chronically not working, I stop myself and say, “That is enough. I have had enough of that. It has done its job.”
Only you can know how much emptying you might need to get to a quantum field of freedom. The Positiva would say, “Why would you need emptying? There is God in everything.” I say, yes that is true, but how much are you secretly attached to everything? That is the issue. The inner, not the alleged outer, freedom is the issue and it is the only issue. I was willing to go through too much to get there. Now, I have no opinion about getting there, but I have a limit to the amount of zero I will endure.
To those of you who have kept up with all the comings and goings with my blog site, thank you! So much is in flux, including my tech and web stuff, that things like websites and blog sites seem to be there one minute and gone the next.
What is on my mind today, is the wintery-ness of the spiritual journey. It feels that way sometimes, doesn’t it? I’m going through a wintery period and it feels very challenging. It’s all for spiritual and soul freedom which has been the fundamental passion of my life. But it is a passion that kind of kills all passion.
That probably sounds very depressing, but if our core is spiritual, silent and immovable, it is a different state than passion, as desirable and delicious as passion can feel. If true Spirit calls to you then you know there is nothing….nothing you can do to resist its call. At least nothing ultimately. We usually put all sorts of fillers in to distract ourselves and slow the distress that we might feel from the tension between the powerful ego and the Spirit. As dear teacher Byron Katie says, “Love kills everything but itself.” It can feel surprising – and is not for the faint of heart- to see how much of what we think we love is infused with other non-love elements within ourselves. It is ALL and only within ourselves. Nothing needs to be manipulated in the apparent outside world. Letting those elements within ourselves that feel good, but may not be pure (not my fave word, but will use it for now) love be consumed in our genuine love of Spirit can feel like a kind of death.
If you are not called by Spirit, all of this can – and probably does – sound awful and useless. Well, it can feel awful, but it is not useless. It is, however, for the courageous. I commend those of you out there willing to let the Love of Spirit, the Divine, consume everything but Itself. From my heart I send you Love.
In our galaxy, there is a Galactic Senate. It has 300,000 members and humans of Earth are not on it. We are not on it, because we have not shown we are worthy of being in this Senate. Let me be clear, by “worthy” I mean, we have not shown we are spiritually-advanced enough to be selected. But the truth is we are spiritually-advanced enough, we just need to demonstrate it. We need to stop fighting, hating and letting lower frequencies and the “bad actors” that use them control our thoughts, emotions and behaviors. We ARE ready for this. Let’s show it.
Here is a statement some folks created this weekend to present to the Galactic Senate:
“We respectfully request representation based upon our unique experience and diversity. We, as the sovereign human, express a blueprint as spirit in form, to demonstrate love, wisdom, courage and the integrity to evolve beyond the cosmos. We are ready!”
My teacher Patrick O’Hara used to say that. It probably means a hundred different things to a hundred different people. I guess most would hear it in an egoic sense, like you are the “It” gal or guy or you are “the bomb,” better than all the rest.
That is not what Patrick meant. Patrick meant you are the hub of your reality. You are the creator. If you see a problem, you are the solution. If you don’t like the dream you’re experiencing, reprogram it. You are the dreamer, it is your dream. You are also beyond the dream. You are that. You are beyond any dream and any sense of ego “I, me or mine.”
Once you start to really get that, it shakes the apparent solidity of your life. It’s not always fun. In fact, it’s often not fun. But here lies the rub: once you’re on to it, you can’t turn back. Once you get a taste of this knowledge you can’t untaste it. It is the beginning of waking up, but that can take time. During that time you’ve got of a kind of unjelled reality: you are still immersed in the dream, but you know it’s just a dream, but you’re wanting it to be solid or real whatever it seemed to be in the past or ….the absolute freedom you know lives beyond dream, but you’re not there either. It can really take the fun out of things.
I find myself sentimental alot lately. I realize I am remembering, savoring, crying over, longing for, essentially, storylines. I know. It’s a lot to take in if you really consider it, but the point is once you’re on to the fact that this is all really a dream, you can’t unknow it and – eventually- that knowing takes you to full awakeness, the immovable Divine, which you are. That is what Patrick meant: you are It.
Letting go of my past – childhood, teen years – took me a long minute. It took longer than most. I didn’t know it at the time, but when I returned home in my late twenties, I was starting a long goodbye. It was a process that occurred instinctively; I did not plan or understand it. I was back in Short Hills, New Jersey, but this time as an adult. During this period, I consciously savored the experiences – with people, places, things – of my young life and all the “me’s” it engendered, not realizing at the time I was saying goodbye.
During those years I lived at home as an adult I felt a lot of shame. I wasn’t properly “launching” according the culture in which I was raised which was harsh about that sort of thing. If I saw someone I knew from High School, I tried to avoid them. What could I say? For one thing, my spiritual nature was growing and I felt less and less like I had much in common with them, plus I wasn’t doing the culturally acceptable thing. I feared I would be seen as pitiful and weird and that was too sad to bear.
But that was a small part of the experience of that time. After my Father moved out of what had been the family home, the chaos went with him and a deep peace remained. Shortly after I returned, my Mother’s life shifted, she moved to Manhattan and I basically had the house to myself. That was on the outer levels. What I was doing internally was relishing the aspects of my childhood for which I still hungered.
While I was living at home in Short Hills, I delighted in it, savoring every morsel, sometimes literally. The foods – so many divine foods – flowers, trees, familiar streets, walks, the palatial stone houses, luxurious stores, restaurants – all brimming with delicious meaning. I took 6-mile walks through the most verdant part of my gorgeous hometown. I walked by my elementary school each time, honoring those memories.
I watched my favorite old movies. I went to cool indie cinemas to see interesting new films. I took the train into Manhattan – so fun! – and made sure to soak in the stands of sunny forsythias smothered with blooms that crowded the small-town train station.
When I was invited to my Aunt Millie or Aunt Bobbie’s house, with their smooth wooden corners and exotic eastern rugs, I binged on the warmth. Secretly, quietly I inhaled this life.
After a period of time my soul announced, rather dramatically, that it was time to leave. When I moved to my new life – radically different and magnificent in its own right – it took time to fully release the residual memories of my past. There were many crying times. What was ultimately being released in that long goodbye was a version of me. All the elements, moments, people-memories that populated that me. I cried because I missed how – in the best ways – they had made me feel. Yet I knew I would never go back.
Of course I went back to visit from time to time, but I knew the long, loving embrace I made with my past and the willingness to take the time, despite many pressures, had allowed me to let it go. When I left in 1992, I knew I was done with it. And – in all lovingness – I was.
We are told we have 2-stranded DNA and that’s how it is, was and always will be. That’s a lie.
The human blueprint was fashioned with (likely) a minimum 12-strand DNA template. Our DNA is the interface between cosmic energy and our physical expression. Though we were originally designed for 12-stranded DNA (at least), we are definitely not “12-Strand Ready” at the moment. For now, it is a worthy contemplation. It gives you a vision for our real potential. (Imagine the exponential power of that interface). It signals the greatness for which you were designed.
If we could materialize 12-strands in our current bodies/realities, we’d blow up into cosmic dust from the shock of all that energy. So even though in general I think humans need to step up the pace of their awakening, on the DNA front, I say take it one step at a time. Get into your 3-Strand DNA groove, which is here now.
We are told we have similar or even the same DNA. That’s a lie. At least it’s a lie for some of us. Our DNA is hand-chosen and utterly unique.
A friend of mine has been getting intuitive prompts to move. It started in late 2019 and by early 2020, she and her husband had stored most of their belongings and staged their home for market. Then the pandemic hit. They put the brakes on moving or even thinking about it. Understandable, though ironic, since 2020 was a great year to sell a house.
Recently, she’s been getting this prompt again. I don’t know what she’ll do with it this time, but I hope she takes action. Intuition asks for action.
Before she told me about the revived idea of a move, she lamented that her life felt really flat. Intuition requires action. Moving can feel scary. If it were me – at another time in my life, I do not have the option for it now – I would have felt the fear mostly by way of wary thoughts, meaning things like “what if this doesn’t work out?, “what if I miss the people I know and the places I like?,”I already know where to go for all my needs here, why move?”…and so on.
The thing about fear is that it is often mistaken for wisdom. The two are not the same. We are so conditioned to be cautious and over-intellectualize everything that we think fearful beliefs are sensible, prudent and wise. But however “crowd-sourced” and approved certain beliefs are – “how can you move at YOUR age??” – they are still beliefs rooted in of fear. Like crooked trees with roots of fear. If you say “yes” to fear and “no” to your intuition, it puts your life on a fearful footing, fearful rooting. I call this “inner positioning.” You position yourself internally in fear and it acts like a compass guiding your whole life and being.
Life coach Martha Beck uses the term “true north” to describe what it is like to live in a way guided by intuition and spiritual truth. When we insist on saying “no” to this spiritual guidance, we are taken off (we take ourselves off) our true north. It’s like we are True North Off. We pay a price for that choice; loss of vitality is a big one.
The good news: it is completely your choice and changeable in a heartbeat…before your next breath.
Inner Tools™ Blog: Times of Intense Rapid Shifts 