Category Archives: Spirit

Why Didn’t This All Shift in 1958?

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I have had two major storms of knowledge about imminent radical change on Earth. Each one guided or accompanied major changes in my life.

In both cases, especially the first which started in 1990 and continued in one form or another until around 1996, the change shown to me was definitely right on the verge. It oozed from my pores. I had a spiritually-oriented therapist at the time who told me humans on Earth would never (never!) communicate telepathically. I thought to myself, “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. They will do so and soon.” I knew it in my bones, my soul, my DNA. I came into this life to usher in this new Earth and finally the shift of all man-made systems, the ecosystems, consciousness and physics was underway.

And then it didn’t happen.

In 2020, new downloads unfurled. The rug got pulled from our life – all part of the unfoldment I thought – and then….it didn’t happen. Again. By now, I have a bit of a complex. I do not necessarily think my intuition has been wrong, but that the plan for the unfoldment changes, maybe daily.

In the book “Return of the Dove,” by Margaret Storm, the author is absolutely positive the shifts on Earth, which she groups under the umbrella term of The Aquarian Age, are just weeks away. She had very sold intel, from spiritual masters. That was 1958.

Curiously, alot of Ms. Storm’s info, much of it from the likes of sources like ascended master St. Germain, were very similar to the reports from YouTube influencer and Galactic Federation emissary, Elena Danaan, about events that took place in late 2021 both on and off-planet.

They both spoke of the clearing out of all off-planet controllers from our solar system. Elena reported these events in detail in December 2021. Separated by 63 years, they both claimed the remaining problems on Earth were the result of the minions of the off-planet instigators that were still in embodiment on Earth.

How can this be? Margaret Storm wrote about the vast changes happening “soon” and since some of the historical periods she described encompassed millions of years, at first I didn’t know what “soon” was to her? Maybe it was hundreds of years. Then towards the end of the book, though, she names it: weeks. The changes were just weeks away.

I think she was right. It probably was weeks away. It probably had been imminent many years before her time and has been imminent many times since.

Her book is full of precious nuggets of spiritual gold, so it was a delight to read her book regardless of accuracy. Since I’ve been in her position at least two times myself – I could have written a book declaring “Earth changes imminent!” thirty-three years ago – I felt comforted that I was not alone having had a glorious vision, trusting it, shifting my life to ready for it and then living in the wasteland of the aftermath of it not unfolding. She did not write about the aftermath part of her life, but if she lived beyond the publishing of the book, she most certainly lived it.

Bad Fiction

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Lord have mercy. I am working on an old iMac and it is so slow I want to pull my hair out. There is a widespread machine failure, dysfunction going on in my life. My laptop dying last Fall was part of that wave. That wave has been active for over a year now. Wow.
God love my friend Susan for giving me her 2103 iMac so I could type on something, but bless it, it is slow.
What does this ongoing wave of machine failure mean?

To be honest, I do not know with any certainty. I must admit, recently, after the brand new solar system completely failed and died, for a moment I felt like I was being targeted, like energetically, but that passed. I must stay out of that kind of thinking. It is useless and puts me in twisted “inner” territory. Mostly I feel abandoned by God and snubbed by my soul. Since I see my soul as the causal factor in my life, feeling snubbed by it is a problem. There are so many crazymaking aspects to this time in my life, feeling at odds or victimized by my soul is just one of them. It’s not as serious as it sounds meaning I do ultimately trust my soul, but I am leary of its messaging at the moment. (Ha).

I have alot to say today after having little for months. I will probably break it up into different posts. I will (try to) go back to some of the challenges of this in-between time. The time between worlds.

Machines are breaking. As I’ve said in many posts, everything on this planet, in our world will change down to the last blade of grass. When I first heard my teacher say that it hit home because I knew it. I knew it intuitively, with all my cells. It is the truth within me. The “what” of what will change has been a 50 yr educational process with some of the more difficult, sickening details of it only becoming clear or clearer the last 3-4 years. That’s where the bad fiction comes in. Thirty years ago I wrote: “This world is all fiction. Unfortunately it is bad fiction.” If you are going to create a world of duality and form, why not make it a pleasant world. Just like if you are going to write a story, why not make it a happy one? Especially when that story is a reality people live in. Yes, duality can suck, but it doesn’t have to suck the way it does in our world at the moment.

OK back to the dying machines. Everything will change, so machines will change too. My intuition tells me none of the machines we currently use will exist in the ascended Earth. It is a completely different field of consciousness, physics and form (hallelujah). So as this world dismantles, things will start to not work or maybe disappear…or both!

How much of my current life is a product of the dismantling of this existing reality? Not sure. If it were up to me we’d move quickly and smoothly from one dimensional world to the next, but instead there is this insanely long in-between time going on.
Perhaps in the grand scheme of things it is merciful, but to me it is not. So there is this long in-between time when you …I’ll speak for myself here, when I have to live in this world when I’m beyond (!) ready for the 5D one, but I still depend on the current world’s machines, economy, infrastructure, vehicles, much of which have been failing. The worst of it is that it feels scary. And yes, I admit that if I boil down that fear it is not only a fear of death or disability, but even, as I heard someone say recently, the soul fearing its own annihilation. I didn’t know souls did that, but I trust the source and I know that the worst of what I’m feeling when things fall apart is a kind of terror.

Real Freedom

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The real freedom is within. Nothing….no thing….in the apparent external world has to change for you to be utterly, completely free right this moment. But something internal has to. The internal reality most of us experience is “apparent” too, but not to me…not yet.

Recently I was talking with a friend about ascension. There are aspects I probably cannot articulate yet, but I have known for a long time that part of the process is that the soul releases its identification with form. That does not means we die. We are so trained to equate form with physical life, but that’s part of the problem. The spiritual release and dropping the identification of form (which is so much more than the physical body) is an act of soul and consciousness. It sounds airy-fairy and unrelated to the nuts and bolts of life, but it is neither. It IS profoundly practical and just profound overall.

I longed for this state for most of my life. I studied it. If anyone who experienced it wrote about it, I read it their accounts. I used to be a walking encyclopedia of written spiritual accounts of humans who had awakened to non-duality, soul freedom, ascension. After decades of inquiry, I concluded the shift is an act of grace. If fervor, longing, sincere desire, intuitive knowing, etc., could cause this state, I would have experienced it many times over. I can’t say that none of that matters, because maybe it does and it doesn’t matter anyway because once you have a taste for it, you cannot let it go and you long for that freedom. We long for it because we know it is our true state. But what pulls the final lever of awakening? It seems to be the soul. The human cannot cause it.

I do Zoom calls with Byron Katie almost every week and have done so for over four year. BK is an awakened human. She does not describe herself that way, which is all the more telling of her authenticity, so these are my words and my experience of her. She too has said that her “experience on the floor” (see any of her books to know how she woke up on the floor one morning and nothing was the same) was an act of grace.

Disrupting

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The solar generator suddenly started taking in half of what it is supposed to and half of what it was taking in just days before. For no reason. It could only muster a third of a full charge on the battery at the most. We had very little electricity and there was nothing we could do about it. The generator is barely three years old. It should be doing better, but it is not.

Our truck has two threadbare tires that are barely eight months old and two very worn ones that are five months old.
These are just two of the vital resources that are challenged now, but there are numerous other important things that are not working: the gas generator, RV heater (our backup “go to” in freezing cold weather) and more.

The cat food for health issues that my cats desperately need is not coming in to the store in Taos I have to drive an hour and a half to get. Special ordered it weeks ago. Gee, they’re sorry, they say. I cannot just sub in food from Walmart – a mere hour’s drive away- because the one cat’s digestive system will just shut down if he doesn’t get the specialty food. The only place that has it is a 6 hr roundtrip drive.
I do the drive. On the threadbare tires. That held up, by the grace of God.

Virtually every aspect of my husband’s and my life is disrupted. The solutions to essential problems like getting food; anything (!) involving plumbing (we have none); driving – we must drive a minimum of an hour to get anything, except gas, when the place in town has it; heating; laundry – all of it is disrupted and solutions, that sometimes seem impossible, must be found. How can I get my cats food when the young truck keeps going through tires like tanks of gas and sometimes, like this past Fall, stops working altogether?

The Earth is shifting. The matrix we live in – which is the only reality to the majority of people on Earth – will disappear. I do not know when or how the entire shift will happen, but I know it is underway and will not only become more obvious, but will be all-inclusive. Everyone will feel it.

Like everything, people will experience it differently, but there will be a point when everyone will be affected. The old will not be available in the same way.
I am affected now, but I know others who are not as affected or even nearly so. But I do not see how that can remain when the deeper aspects of the shift materialize.

While there is a collective aspect to this life we are living, the journey is always an individual one first and foremost. My soul has its own reasons for putting me through what I am going through. However, I do wonder if part of the reason for this spiritual bootcamp experience in which I am immersed is so I can be a friend, one who has ” been there, ” to others when the ground starts to shift underneath their feet. It is a radically different way to live. It is cool because you must be creative on virtually every level of your being. There is no guide book. But it would be more fun if doing it didn’t suck so much of the time. Ha. Spirit’s sense of humor. It’s having a good laugh.

Zero is not Zero Point

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Some spiritual traditions have what they call the “Via Negativa” and the “Via Positiva.” The Via Negativa and the Via Positiva refer to the paths taken to spiritual freedom. They also refer to the temperament of the spiritual aspirants on those paths as they are very different.

The Via Negative is the path of spiritual renunciation, material minimalism, and an inclination to see God better when there is less distraction from worldly things, noise, experience. The Negativa has a heavy dose of the spiritual destroyer in her. I fit into this category.

The Via Positiva, as best as I can tell since it is foreign to me, sees no conflict between worldliness – involvement in worldly, interactive contact; experiences; material things – and God. It is hard for me to fathom because so much of that reeks of ego to me. ( You must be thinking, “oh she would be fun at a party!”). I love and need a certain amount of people contact, travel and experiences in the world, but I also see that that kind of involvement can originate from fear and be a massive distraction. Life of the party. (Actually I love a good party).

I do not know if this vision of mine is even trustworthy. Does it come from spirit? Can’t be sure. What I do know is I see it constantly. I cannot look away from it.

* * *

The Zero Point: I am looking for a definition online, but not seeing anything great. The closest definition that fits my intuition is this: “when quantum particles reach…zero…the particles then no longer contain any information about what state they were in before. Everything that may have happened to the particle before is perfectly erased.”

That definition is actually pretty cool. But rather than see the field as a bunch of particles, I see it as a field of potentiating, unlimited energy. The zero point field is a field of spiritual energy. It has zero charge, no predetermined form and it is also available for use. It was designed for human use. The quantum physicists could tell us where, if there is a where, it resides around planet Earth. It may be more accurate to say it infuses all the space in and around our planet.

It can be used to create unlimited electricity (see Nikola Tesla or the documentary “The Lost Century,” by Steven Greer), healing energy and potentials that are considered impossible by the current accepted system of reality and, further, anything you desire. The zero point is a state within you as well. When you program for a reality – intend a creation – you can take your program/intention (see it like a shape) to the zero point field for energizing into form. What you are imagining and intending is the shape and spirit or zero point energy gives that shape life. This is all something you can do with your own consciousness. There is outer technology based on this energy and it would be fun to have access to that kind of technology; it would change life as we know it on this planet. However, at this time, because of technology suppression, I suggest you work with your own consciousness. It can be a frustrating waiting game if you are hoping to use the technologies.

The Zero is not the Zero Point:

For those of us with the Negativa temperament who feel a certain rush from environmental minimalism and possess more than a dash of spiritual destroyer energy, it is sometimes helpful -perhaps more than just a little at times – to not conflate zero with zero point. What do I mean by that?

Essentially the Negativa can see absence as Presence. That can result in alot of blocking of life nutrients, including literal ones. People might call it a “holy anorexia,” but it is not that simple. Cutting out old ways of being, identifying and behaving can…can reveal deeper, previously hidden aspects of one’s “self.” There can be an increase of Presence in absence. Also, the emptying out of old ways can turn one – intentionally, unintentionally or both – to the zero point. In a sense you can empty out into the zero point. However, they are not the same. At times it is necessary to clarify that. I am going through that right now.

My life has emptied out in many ways. I am too close to the process to know exactly how or if that is benefiting me. I do know that I reached a point not that long ago where I said “no” to more of the zero. Zero car, amenities (almost zero), machines working and an abundance of upsetting outcomes. I cannot tell you how much “yes” I had in that game, I only know that now if I find myself thinking about the things that are gone or worst, the things that are chronically not working, I stop myself and say, “That is enough. I have had enough of that. It has done its job.”

Only you can know how much emptying you might need to get to a quantum field of freedom. The Positiva would say, “Why would you need emptying? There is God in everything.” I say, yes that is true, but how much are you secretly attached to everything? That is the issue. The inner, not the alleged outer, freedom is the issue and it is the only issue. I was willing to go through too much to get there. Now, I have no opinion about getting there, but I have a limit to the amount of zero I will endure.

How wintery it can feel

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To those of you who have kept up with all the comings and goings with my blog site, thank you! So much is in flux, including my tech and web stuff, that things like websites and blog sites seem to be there one minute and gone the next.

What is on my mind today, is the wintery-ness of the spiritual journey. It feels that way sometimes, doesn’t it? I’m going through a wintery period and it feels very challenging. It’s all for spiritual and soul freedom which has been the fundamental passion of my life. But it is a passion that kind of kills all passion.

That probably sounds very depressing, but if our core is spiritual, silent and immovable, it is a different state than passion, as desirable and delicious as passion can feel. If true Spirit calls to you then you know there is nothing….nothing you can do to resist its call. At least nothing ultimately. We usually put all sorts of fillers in to distract ourselves and slow the distress that we might feel from the tension between the powerful ego and the Spirit. As dear teacher Byron Katie says, “Love kills everything but itself.” It can feel surprising – and is not for the faint of heart- to see how much of what we think we love is infused with other non-love elements within ourselves. It is ALL and only within ourselves. Nothing needs to be manipulated in the apparent outside world. Letting those elements within ourselves that feel good, but may not be pure (not my fave word, but will use it for now) love be consumed in our genuine love of Spirit can feel like a kind of death.

If you are not called by Spirit, all of this can – and probably does – sound awful and useless. Well, it can feel awful, but it is not useless. It is, however, for the courageous. I commend those of you out there willing to let the Love of Spirit, the Divine, consume everything but Itself. From my heart I send you Love.

Humanity’s Request

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In our galaxy, there is a Galactic Senate. It has 300,000 members and humans of Earth are not on it.
We are not on it, because we have not shown we are worthy of being in this Senate. Let me be clear, by “worthy” I mean, we have not shown we are spiritually-advanced enough to be selected.
But the truth is we are spiritually-advanced enough, we just need to demonstrate it. We need to stop fighting, hating and letting lower frequencies and the “bad actors” that use them control our thoughts, emotions and behaviors. We ARE ready for this. Let’s show it.

Here is a statement some folks created this weekend to present to the Galactic Senate:

“We respectfully request representation based upon our unique experience and diversity.
We, as the sovereign human, express a blueprint as spirit in form, to demonstrate love, wisdom, courage and the integrity to evolve beyond the cosmos. We are ready!”

Make is so, people. Make it so.

Life is But A Dream

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You are It.

My teacher Patrick O’Hara used to say that. It probably means a hundred different things to a hundred different people. I guess most would hear it in an egoic sense, like you are the “It” gal or guy or you are “the bomb,” better than all the rest.

That is not what Patrick meant. Patrick meant you are the hub of your reality. You are the creator. If you see a problem, you are the solution. If you don’t like the dream you’re experiencing, reprogram it. You are the dreamer, it is your dream.
You are also beyond the dream. You are that. You are beyond any dream and any sense of ego “I, me or mine.”

Once you start to really get that, it shakes the apparent solidity of your life. It’s not always fun. In fact, it’s often not fun. But here lies the rub: once you’re on to it, you can’t turn back. Once you get a taste of this knowledge you can’t untaste it. It is the beginning of waking up, but that can take time.
During that time you’ve got of a kind of unjelled reality: you are still immersed in the dream, but you know it’s just a dream, but you’re wanting it to be solid or real whatever it seemed to be in the past or ….the absolute freedom you know lives beyond dream, but you’re not there either. It can really take the fun out of things.

I find myself sentimental alot lately. I realize I am remembering, savoring, crying over, longing for, essentially, storylines. I know. It’s a lot to take in if you really consider it, but the point is once you’re on to the fact that this is all really a dream, you can’t unknow it and – eventually- that knowing takes you to full awakeness, the immovable Divine, which you are. That is what Patrick meant: you are It.