Being REALLY off-grid

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My website’s security registration has gone rogue because GoDaddy cannot confirm my phone number. Yes, that is the big ole nefarious reason. Keep your children safe! To satisfy GoDaddy, they require I have a statement notarized that my phone number is my phone number. Clutch your innocent children now!

To do that I need to find a notary in my area or at least one that actually works. Earlier this week, I did several online searches for notaries – a few came up with not a contact detail in the bunch. Also, I waited a very long time in line at the post office of the next town – 16 miles away – because Google said they had a notary. They didn’t. After several tries and about an hour of searching and waiting, I put the task off for another day. In the meantime, GoDaddy has put up a security flag on my site that says it contains dangerous URLs.

All because they want my phone number. And they insist it be notarized.

Here on the Mesa, I cannot use my laptop every day. We only have one freestanding solar generator for power, plus our RV’s solar setup, which is very helpful, but weaker. If there is a spate of rainy days, which there was the week before last, I literally cannot turn on my laptop until the sun has been back out for a couple days.

My laptop is old and only powers on electricity, not battery. On a rainy day, much less a group of them, electricity progressively powers down here, then disappears altogether. So the laptop is out. It’s rather depressing.

Today it is sunny and relatively early in the day. These are the two components for more generous electricity creation and, in turn, usage. We don’t make hay while the sun shines, but we do just about everything else. By 3pm, even on a sunny day, we must start turning things off to conserve what power we have for overnight. It’s almost 1pm now, I’ve got a couple hours, though I’ve also got a thousand things to do, all of which are basic, boring life tasks.

This is a set-up. The way I’m living and the way you’re living. It might seem so cool and unfettered to live “off-grid’ the way my husband and I do, but we are tied so heavily to survival chores, there is nothing cool or unfettered about it. At least about that part, but “that” is a huge part of life.

(Note of gratitude: What IS unfettered is the land itself. After it rains, the smell of sage infuses the air. You walk on the paths and it’s like walking in a sage bath. The quiet. It is so quiet here you can hear the sound a bird’s body makes when it motors its wings. Even with your eyes closed, you know what part of flight it is in. THAT part is unfettered, but the rest of it is like living in a labor camp.)

Well, that’s the way it is, you might say to yourself. Life, chores, living off-grid. Is it? Is it really? I say, “No,” it is most definitely not the way it is. Not in the existential sense, which is what we mean when we say “that’s how it is.” It is not the way things were meant to be here on planet Earth. But yes, it is the way they were manipulated into existing, so in that sense it is the way things are…..for now.

I will dig into this more in a future post, but energy on Earth is actually infinite and free. “Actually” as in it is a physical fact about the structure of our Earth and the field that surrounds it. And not free like the sun or the wind, because I’m here to tell you, ain’t nothing free or infinite about solar or wind energy. They are the consolation prizes of the existing system of control – which extends to energy, healthcare, communication, travel…you name it…pretty much everything.

Modern wind turbines are ugly. They light up at night and light-pollute the horizon for miles. We used to see the ones in Wyoming from our balcony in northern Colorado. They completely took over the view of the northern horizon and constantly flashed unpleasant artificial red lights. We were not interested in seeing flashing red lights as our view of the beautiful north.

You’re probably thinking, well it’s better than oil! It’s better than coal!…nuclear! All a setup, my friend. ALL of those are unnecessary. Check out the work of Nicola Tesla. We should have had zero point energy in every area of our lives over 100 years ago. But we don’t. And that is by careful design. Think about it: who benefits (profits) by the current systems we have?

Zero point would mean no more being a slave to energy. No more solar and wind as the heroes they aren’t. Zero Point energy works with the toroid and is free and infinite. It FREES the human, it doesn’t bind us further, like living at the whim of a solar generator and the sun and the rain (which get manipulated too). Or all the other myriad ways we are bound by the control and seizure of energy on our planet, which is also unequivocally destroying the entire biosphere of this once-gorgeous planet.
And yet we don’t have zero point energy boxes in our homes. We don’t have med beds – another FREEING technology- in any city, town or village. And that’s no accident. No accident at all.

“You Never Get More Than You Can Handle” – Really? (I’ll take the cookies please!)

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People say, “You never get more than you can handle.” Or “God never gives you more than you can handle.” Really? Nice story, but total bullshit. What does it even mean?

That you won’t die from a difficult situation? Is that the marker? That you won’t lose your mind, tear off your clothes, walk into traffic, have to be institutionalized? Is that the marker?

Surely those are things I do not desire, but in my experience the soul throws you more shit than you can handle all the time. How else do you grow?

I think what people mean when they say that to someone going through a difficult time is, “This situation feels bigger than your usual ways of handling life and your usual sense of self, but you really do have it in you to handle it, even though it doesn’t feel like it now.” That’s nice. And maybe it’s true. But if you’re in this life to grow beyond the known, you’re going to have times when you get more than you can handle. Count on it.

During most of the 1990’s, I was going through what I surmise was alot of intense spiritual transformation all at once. Even now, I can only guess at what it was or what to name some of it. We’re not a spiritually-literate culture, so I couldn’t just look it up (no Google) and say, “Oh, yeah, that’s what this is.” Even if I could, there was nothing I could do about it. Spiritual transformations are triggered by the soul. You just have to cope. And, at times, that is no small task.

One of the processes I was likely experiencing during that time was the Dark Night, more commonly known as the Dark Night of the Soul. I’m not sure why it is called that since the soul seemed just fine, thank you. But the rest of the human? That’s another story.

Sometimes I’d hear accounts of the Dark Night from others, but the reports I heard were superficial and inaccurate. That is not to say those people weren’t actually going through a Dark Night. Maybe they were and they didn’t articulate it well. More often than not, though, I suspect they were not actually going through the Dark Night.

There’s not much I can say about it because, well, it is the Dark Night after all. Ok, there’s a little I can say about it. First, it was not short. I cannot tell you how long it was, but in linear time, it was long.

Possibly the hardest part was the loss of my connection to God as I had known it and relied on it. For years prior, I had pleaded with great sincerity to have God, Spirit, bring on intense spiritual transformation. Not because I’m a masochist, but because I longed for an inner freedom I knew was possible. I didn’t have to conjure or dramatize that desire, it was straight from the heart.

Then I got my wish. The intense transformation part (I’m still waiting for the complete soul freedom part). Also, like I said, there were other things going on spiritually too, some of which made my physical, mental and spiritual bodies feel like they were in a vise. That too was not short. But going back to the Dark Night (DN), in the DN, the lights go out. Your inner world of spiritual phenomena disappears.

Maybe you have a sense of the Divine, of God. Some sort of connection you rely on, that makes you feel good, safe and to which you turn when things are troubling. A childlike inner connection in which a sweet story about God taking care of you and never giving you more than you can handle would make sense.

In the Dark Night, that disappears. You can beg and plead and cry – and I did – and it changes nothing. It is a process of becoming a spiritual adult. I suppose, spiritually-speaking, we’re never really alone in this life, but in the DN the ways you would know and feel that, disappear. Those “ways” are what I’m calling the lights, the knowable phenomena. They disappear and you must see in the Dark. Your ego freaks out night and day (well it does that anyway, but you can imagine…). It has none of its favorite toys to play with, including Comfort-God. They gone.

The world is one big “No.” Just about everything in your world is empty. It’s not quite as nihilistic as it sounds. In fact it is not nihilism at all, what it is, is spiritual fire. Nihilism is still an ego/intellect construct. The Dark Night is a burn. It’s the soul burning down your sense of self and your childlike relationship to Spirit. To the ground and beyond.

So some dopey saying like, “Oh God will never give you more than you can handle” is ridiculous. You come to see alot of things in this world are ridiculous.

So what to do? All you can do is distract. I can’t speak for others who maybe want to sit in meditation practice and bring mindfulness to the process – although I did a fair bit of mindfulness meditation during that time, but I didn’t push it – but it’s not the nature of the Dark Night that you work harder at it. That fucker knows precisely what to do and does not need a single thing from you to do it.

I was living in Canada at the time and for awhile had no legal working papers – don’t ask me what I could have done for a job anyway, though I did eventually get one. During those times, I would take the Oak St bus in Vancouver down to the Starbucks. Starbucks was new to me in 1992 (it was still more about actual coffee than theme-park style sugar-bomb drinks) and it was without a doubt my Coffee Dream come true.

I would go to the Oak St Starbucks and get a cappuccino and a gorgeous chocolate-dipped peanut butter cookie. At the time, Starbucks still sold really nice confections, locally-sourced, not the mass-produced garbage they sell now.

The cookie was almost as big as my hand. I would slowly savor each smooth, sweet, velvet chocolatey, crunchy peanut-buttery bite as I sipped my superb strong-roast cappuccino and for a short time, my world would be easy.

While there are many…many.. spiritual tools and insights I have to share with people, some of the dearest and most profound – the ones that kept me sane, literally – are humble, simple, everyday things that sweetened my day and were not esoteric in the least.

Stories about how easy God is on us humans were useless and silly during the Dark Night. It’s not supposed to be always be easy and you’re not supposed to be a spiritual child forever. But a good cappuccino, a nice table at which to sit, a friendly barista and a beautiful handmade chocolate-dipped peanut butter cookie can give you a moment of desperately-needed sweetness in the midst of fire.

Universal Free Everything

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Alex Collier is an Andromedan contactee. For 60 years he has interfaced with a spiritually-advanced culture from the Andromedan galaxy. When he told them that humans need money to survive here on Earth, the Andromedans did not understand. They asked, “Why would you have to pay to live on a planet where you were born?”

Great question. Great contemplation for you. Whose idea was that?

Alchemical Cauldrons

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This time is about alchemy. This time in my life. This time on the planet. Many of my posts will be about alchemy. A friend is struggling with physical illness. Physical illness can be a powerful alchemical cauldron. I use that term to mean any experience in life that serves as a vessel for the process of alchemy. There are many in life and physical illness is one of them. Parenthood is another. I have no kids so I have not experienced the alchemy of parenthood firsthand, but my imagination is good, so I can imagine.

I am in a different alchemical matrix. One that is more of an alchemical bootcamp. I will title (several) future blog posts this way.

In my life, the rug got pulled out. It was a kind of merciful pull-out in that my husband and I had some time to work with. It was not like the kind where people experience floods and fires and lose everything they own in an hour or two. My pull-out gave me some time to work with. I used it.

I moved, with my husband and two cats to a rock. A Mesa, 8600 feet in the air in the southern Colorado desert. We have no water (that I know of) or electricity on site. We live in two 490 sq ft yurts that are connected and our very handy RV, which is a source of some so-called normalcy, having a toilet and some kitchen applicances. Keep in mind, though, that none of these things are powered or resourced the way your kitchen appliances and toilets (likely) are. Sadly…so sadly….poop doesn’t magically disappear into some municipal water supply. We are accountable to our own poop. Bet you want to sign up for this life right now!

Yesterday, I wanted to cook rice and I did not have much water. I only had what was in my water bottles and that was running low. Once the bottled water is gone, there is no more.

I googled whether I needed to rinse rice or not. Alchemy point: I have always rinsed rice. That is how you do it. Seems small, but not rinsing rice is a challenge to my sense of “the right way to do things.” THAT right there is the main alchemical axis of this kind of life. Constantly challenging the “right, safe, good way to do things.” You’d be surprised how much of your power and identity are caught up in this. It is caught up in innumerable ways in your sense of self, your life and how you live it. So many ways. It is at work almost every moment of every day.

Overwhelmingly Google contributors said to rinse rice. I knew the reasons why, but I wanted to see if there might be a lone voice in the wilderness daring to say it was okay not to rinse. Rinsing the rice to reduce arsenic and dirt convinced me to try.

For days now I’ve been looking for my fine-mesh sieve. It is what I use to rinse rice and quinoa. The mesh is small enough so the grains don’t fall through in the rinsing. Alchemical Point #2: It is what I always use. “Always use” feels very comfortable when you can keep it going, but it is not alchemical. What the fuck do I do now? That’s the voice of alchemy. I’m pretty sure the sieve survived the scorched-earth packing of the final minutes of the move from the townhouse we left, but I do not know what box it is in. We had to rent some storage units, some the size of closets, it is likely in one of them.

For a couple days I did not cook rice because I did not have the sieve. Old me. Has to do it the way she likes. The way it “should” be done. Finally, I punched some slits into a plastic cup and used the smallest amount of water to rinse the rice. Alchemy. I used our Instapot for the first time on the Mesa. I wasn’t sure the solar generator would accommodate the electrical demand of the pot, but it did! Hooray! The sun cooked our rice. We had rice for dinner. It was delicious.

Space Oneness

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The consciousness you use to connect with space and the Universe is infinite. It is yours and it is equally infinite within each of us. No one has more of it than another.

There are no celebrities or VIPs who have more access or more right to be in space. How can any individual have “more” than infinite?

The Spirituality of Inter-galactics

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I used to be suspicious of extraterrestrials. Since I did not have any contact with them, it is more accurate to say I was suspicious of the subject. Some of that suspicion was because of conditioning we’ve all received about ET’s – how they are bad and we should fear them. Some of it was because of the completely fictional belief we are fed that we are the only beings in the Universe (this is so laughable, I can hardly write it) and therefore the whole subject of off-planet beings is crazy.

I also found the subject secular and gossipy. Like knowing all the mundane details about others, but on a larger scale. What’s spiritual (or interesting) about that?

Turns out, that was brainwashing too. Our place in the cosmos – Earth, humans – has been deliberately hidden from us as has the multi-faceted nature of the Universe. It is remarkable. This hiding….on a planetary scale…is truly remarkable.

We are not a particularly old planet. Our very existence came from exalted spiritual beings from elsewhere in the Cosmos. So spirituality and off-planet beings are intimately connected. At some point they (can…do) become one and the same.

I recently heard a passage from Steven Greer, a spiritual teacher and ET Ambassador. It explains beautifully how the two subjects merge into one:

“It doesn’t matter if you are a homeless person on the street or a professor at MIT, if you are conscious and awake the entirety of the Cosmos is folded within you like a conscious, quantum hologram because consciousness isn’t limited by space and time.

People ask, ‘Where do I have to go?’ First, you have to go within yourself…..There’s this deeper aspect of ourselves that is simultaneously interwoven and when we go deep in meditation and connect with THAT then we have reached the point where we can be an ambassador to the Universe, because we have become Universal….It is how we evolve and fulfill our destiny/role as an interstellar civilization that is enlightened in a Golden Age of Existence on Earth.”

There are off-planet beings that are not of this high frequency, but there are many that are of a frequency we can – and should – dream of. Dr. Greer has said it all. He has woven together the within and the without. That is the true nature of reality. Not this fiction we’ve been fed about separation and the (make-believe) reality of a spirit-less, reductionist material world & Universe full of threats..

Do you want to start your cosmic journey? Do this: dig down to your cosmic essence – all it takes is some quiet time and your focus – and meet your real, wild, unbelievably gorgeous Universe.

New Earth Pt 1

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Earth will undergo profound awesome changes. It is going to happen in a relatively short time in linear time. While the changes are LONG overdue and will be a joy-beyond-words for EVERYONE on Earth, they will be a big change to many people. Adapting to the loss of what seemed real, solid and dependable will be a shock to some people.

I suspect there will be a kind of energetic balm given to humanity to make these changes much more comfortable.

Remember folks, it is all for the best. Actually it is beyond the best.

JR

Gatherings in the New

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A planet of spiritually-wise, self-responsible humans will create communal “vessels” – what we might define as institutions – that are completely different than the institutions we now know and have known. I am really looking forward to that as I love being with others, but the nature of current institutions and the nature of consciousness on the planet in general has turned me off and made me much more of a loner than I am..

The coming collective reality and its gatherings – people coming together for work, play – will be a joyous expression and out-picturing of the true spiritual reality we will all know and understand ourselves to be. They will be an overflow and flowering of that.

The gap between the Identified life and the Free soul

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I have lived in two realities most of my life: one – the divine unfettered soul; the other, the ego-identified human. My lived experience has been more in the ego-identified state, while the unfettered Divine has been mostly intuitive. Nonetheless, the unfettered Divine has been a forceful guide in my life.

The unfettered soul is free of ego attachment. I have contemplated this state for decades. As best I can tell, reaching the state of irreversible soul freedom is something that is initiated by the soul, the Divine. Though the build-up can take years – often fraught with great discomfort – it seems that the soul, not the human who yearns to be free, pulls the mysterious “ lever” that finally releases the human of ego attachment.

Because this spiritually-free state guides me, I sometimes view people’s difficulties with what could be called a “Nandaka” consciousness. Nandaka was the sword of the Hindu deity Vishnu. It was the “destroyer of ignorance.” The Nandaka wipes out spiritual ignorance with the swift, decisive strokes of the sharp blade of Truth.

However….

The process of shedding illusion tends to unfold very slowly, not quickly and often with epic amounts of struggle. Rarely is there a momentary flash of truth where the entire consciousness of the person is permanently transformed.

The gap between the attached and untethered is huge when one is in the grips of ego. There is so much sense of loss.

On this subject, I am routinely humbled by my own life experience.

In the last year, our life – my husband’s & mine – has radically shifted in the areas of housing, job and community. Social supports have changed or disappeared with some people passing away. Much of our old life has come undone, fallen away.

Lately, I feel I am in free fall. I crave a safe place to land and remain.

At the same time, the planet is undergoing massive changes and dissolutions with, I sense, much more to come.

Until I reach the free-soul place on all levels, I will still try to cling to what feels like terra firma, despairing when it seems out of reach, passing me by. I live in that gap.

Earth: Unprecedented

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From this morning: The vision of what is coming here. Not a lot of details yet, but when the unprecedented is manifesting, how much will – or could – be known in advance? Of Earth, all these will be unrecognizably different:

Physics

Physicality – human, animal, land masses, the 2nd Dimension beings (minerals, lichens, molds, elements and more) – different

DNA, including and importantly, of humans

Land masses – not necessarily different location on planet, but different substance, like all the rest, plus absent the degradation of current planetary way of life and colonial rule/agenda of destruction

Totally new Matrix, if even a Matrix at all. If so, much more refined in frequency and lighter in weave

All cellular structure altered/upgraded

ALL UPGRADED!