Tag Archives: Ascension

The Isolation (& Assorted)

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It is cold in my yurt. Got the heat back on, but it has only risen to 57 F from 52. Fingers are cold as I type.
A couple fingers are swollen. Not from cold. Not sure from what. Saw my functional MD this summer and I had two underlying bacterial conditions, including chlamydia. I got it from a spider bite. Only Dr. Bill, my functional MD, would know that! Turns out some scientific dude studied spiders back in the day and cultured one of their mandibles (wtf?). He discovered chlamydia bacteria. So you don’t have to have sex with the spider. It just has to bite you.

I took kudzu for one of the infections. I think it was the chlamydia. One of the symptoms was swollen finger joints, which is what is happening again. I ordered some more kudzu. I’ll see if it helps with my finger joints. The pinky on the right hand has kind of blown up. Weird. They were feeling alot better until a couple days ago.

I was in Denver last weekend. Doing a class with Sharon, the beloved spiritual teacher. After class, during happy hour at the hotel, I was talking to Patricia. I’m not even sure exactly what I said, but expletives were flying out of my mouth. I am originally from New Jersey and have been known to sling a swear word or two. I think I was trying to articulate how disappointed and isolated I feel because almost no one seems to get what my life is about. And….that group there, my classmates – they should know better. So I think.

Truth be told, some of them might get it. They might be able to articulate an understanding of my life experience – the gist, the core of it – that would feel really satisfying to me. No one did so that weekend. Part of the problem of not only the way I currently live, but with society in general now is how isolated we are. Not only that, but our collective communication has been affected – for the poorer – from the Algo culture (Technical/Artificial Intelligence world, culture). I don’t even understand it all. I don’t want to. I just know Algo shapes communication and perception: we feel more separate and worse.

I felt icky after talking to Patricia. Even though swearing happens out of my mouth, I don’t feel good afterwards, especially if it has caught me off-guard, which this did….completely. I am sitting with the aftermath of the conversation, discerning what I need to be more conscious of. It is this: I feel isolated. It stresses me. I greatly wish people understood and appreciated what I’m doing with my life and why I’m doing it. I write this blog in hopes of helping with that. To be honest, it is the best I can do. I have almost no patience for explaining my life. I speak up, but am also quiet alot.

Too often people see it in the old way. Try to fit it into old narratives. Matrix-created narratives of meritocracy and their own unconscious ego action. So much unconscious ego trancing: “This feels pleasurable and safe. It is good. This does not. It is bad.” It is a trance folks.

I feel impatient. Everything will change on this planet and then people will be living their own profound change and transformation. They will have no choice. Some are doing that now. I know some of them. Still most people seem to be choosing comfort, the known and stagnation.

The One Where God is Part of the Matrix

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Some TV show used to title their episodes this way. It might have been “Friends.”
I am digging deep into new material and contemplations. The big one is that God is part of the matrix. A big one, that.
It makes sense. How can we be fully sovereign beings and also be created by any entity? Be its child? It gives us permanent, existential “child” status.

I watch waves of terror erupt inside me at this thought. I am it. I am the one I’ve been waiting for. Both my venerated spiritual teachers have said this for years. Today I panic at that idea. And I watch myself grasp for something “other” to depend on, lean on. I KNOW I am not alone in this. Somehow that is a comfort, though in the grand scheme it matters not at all.

Today, I will take what comfort I can find without reinstating God or any God-like construct in my consciousness and life. The only thing that is changing is my thought about reality, not the underlying reality itself. Small comfort today as I panic.

Sending love.

More on The Good Emergency: Earth in Transition

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One of my favorite quotes from the last year came from an interview with Sophie Gregoire Trudeau, the ex-wife of Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau. When asked what her younger self thought about her future, she responded, “I don’t make many plans. I’ve trained my brain to deal with uncertainty more. The brain doesn’t like uncertainty. Stress is a dysfunctional relationship with the present moment.”

I relate well to her words as I have had to examine my relationship to the unknown more than I would have predicted or liked the last two years.

When the rug got pulled from my old life in 2019-2020, I ventured into deeply new inner and outer territory. What drove me was an inner knowing that everything on planet Earth was going to change profoundly.

When the sudden changes came in my own life, I knew it was time for a radical departure from the known world into a life that would – hopefully – be a bridge to the unprecedented reality about to unfold on Earth.

The Earth itself has ascended to the 5th Dimension. Humanity is living in a transition version of the old 3rd dimensional world we all know and (many) think is the only reality that exists….in the entire Cosmos! We have been taught to believe that.

Each density or dimension has very different characteristics, somewhat like different countries having very different customs, language, geography, etc. The change from our old 3rd dimension to the 5th dimension will be radical because the 5th has its own structure (much bigger than 3rd), laws, physics and relationship to duality and it bears no resemblance to our old 3D world.

The other striking thing about this transition from 3D to 5D will be the complete falling away of the system of control that has taken root on our planet for many years. This system of control shapes almost everything we experience in our lives. Just this one fact, the absence of it, will dramatically change our world as we know it. Add to that the ascension into higher dimensions and you have the unprecedented world we are moving into. It is a great time for each of us to challenge our relationship to the unknown and make it more relaxed. We will need that skill. It may seem like the changes I’m talking about will take hundreds of years, but they will not. They will take mere months and years.

It is hard to know exactly what the transition will look like. I would say, though hopefully not to confuse anyone, that in some ways and only in some ways, the lockdown of the pandemic in 2020 was a primer. It was a primer in that almost everything in our world shifted immediately. Everyone had to turn on a dime. This was an incredibly valuable experience. It taught us that the reality we have been lead to believe was absolute and immutable can change in an instant.

Things on Earth will change, but this time we will not be going back to “normal.” This fact might feel very jarring to some. It might feel like an emergency.

Conventionally we experience an emergency when: 1) something sudden and painful is happening; 2) there is usually some form of destruction and we mobilize (like crazy) to eliminate the pain and return to normal, even if that process takes years.

If you extract the painful part and the focus on returning to normal (the two are often very connected), we can call an emergency “good” as there are admirable qualities an emergency brings out. Here are some:

1. Everyone involved knows it is happening (this is key).

2. Time changes. We don’t think much about it because we are too busy acting.

3. We just act. Our thoughts become utilitarian, we do not have time to overanalyze (or snipe on social media or do much of anything on social media, especially if it no longer exists!). We are completely immersed in the process.

4. Our resistance lessens or disappears. There is simply no time for it.

5. What we think we need changes radically.

6. We don’t stand around judging others. We act together.

As our world shifts, you can see how these qualities will be essential. I do not think digital anything is active in the 5th dimension, but there will likely be a transition from our insane dependence on it now to its disappearance. As the transition really gets underway, people will likely be acting in-person in more local communities (will be radically new for younger people).

The old world will not be returning. There will be no “normal” to go back to. It will seem scary for awhile. Time to bring in your better relationship to the unknown. It might feel like an emergency, but it is a good, a great emergency.

We will all be a crucial part of a magnificent transformation. It will have positive reverberations for our entire Universe, which we have yet to meet! There will be great celebration in the cosmos as humanity is freed from the controlling entities and systems that have held it in bondage for ages and the Earth and its inhabitants ascend into spiritual greatness and take their rightful place as fully free cosmic citizens.

Are you ready to rock and roll? We got this!

Off Planet Tech 2

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In some circles on YouTube, there is a theory that Nicola Tesla was a fictional creation. Others pose he may have been an actual person, but stole his ideas from the preceding Earth civilization of the ancestors of Mu including Tartaria. Buildings from that global civilization show abundant use of structures that generated quantum, free energy.

I agree with the biograpical account of Nicola Tesla given by author Margaret Storm in her 1959 book, The Return of the Dove.” Tesla was from off-planet. He got his ideas, many of which were opposed and quashed by the fellows of Earth of his day, from the knowledge that is freely available in the cosmos. Why would he have to steal them from someone else or another Earth civilization that, despite their superior knowledge to the current human civilization, still likely knew less than him?

Maybe that is how you think when you do not live on a planet, but on a flat plane or a circuit board. I don’t know. But those of us who live on a planet in a cosmos can and should know that the blueprints of higher consciousness tech are freely available to a free humanity. So let’s get ourselves free.

Bad Fiction

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Lord have mercy. I am working on an old iMac and it is so slow I want to pull my hair out. There is a widespread machine failure, dysfunction going on in my life. My laptop dying last Fall was part of that wave. That wave has been active for over a year now. Wow.
God love my friend Susan for giving me her 2103 iMac so I could type on something, but bless it, it is slow.
What does this ongoing wave of machine failure mean?

To be honest, I do not know with any certainty. I must admit, recently, after the brand new solar system completely failed and died, for a moment I felt like I was being targeted, like energetically, but that passed. I must stay out of that kind of thinking. It is useless and puts me in twisted “inner” territory. Mostly I feel abandoned by God and snubbed by my soul. Since I see my soul as the causal factor in my life, feeling snubbed by it is a problem. There are so many crazymaking aspects to this time in my life, feeling at odds or victimized by my soul is just one of them. It’s not as serious as it sounds meaning I do ultimately trust my soul, but I am leary of its messaging at the moment. (Ha).

I have alot to say today after having little for months. I will probably break it up into different posts. I will (try to) go back to some of the challenges of this in-between time. The time between worlds.

Machines are breaking. As I’ve said in many posts, everything on this planet, in our world will change down to the last blade of grass. When I first heard my teacher say that it hit home because I knew it. I knew it intuitively, with all my cells. It is the truth within me. The “what” of what will change has been a 50 yr educational process with some of the more difficult, sickening details of it only becoming clear or clearer the last 3-4 years. That’s where the bad fiction comes in. Thirty years ago I wrote: “This world is all fiction. Unfortunately it is bad fiction.” If you are going to create a world of duality and form, why not make it a pleasant world. Just like if you are going to write a story, why not make it a happy one? Especially when that story is a reality people live in. Yes, duality can suck, but it doesn’t have to suck the way it does in our world at the moment.

OK back to the dying machines. Everything will change, so machines will change too. My intuition tells me none of the machines we currently use will exist in the ascended Earth. It is a completely different field of consciousness, physics and form (hallelujah). So as this world dismantles, things will start to not work or maybe disappear…or both!

How much of my current life is a product of the dismantling of this existing reality? Not sure. If it were up to me we’d move quickly and smoothly from one dimensional world to the next, but instead there is this insanely long in-between time going on.
Perhaps in the grand scheme of things it is merciful, but to me it is not. So there is this long in-between time when you …I’ll speak for myself here, when I have to live in this world when I’m beyond (!) ready for the 5D one, but I still depend on the current world’s machines, economy, infrastructure, vehicles, much of which have been failing. The worst of it is that it feels scary. And yes, I admit that if I boil down that fear it is not only a fear of death or disability, but even, as I heard someone say recently, the soul fearing its own annihilation. I didn’t know souls did that, but I trust the source and I know that the worst of what I’m feeling when things fall apart is a kind of terror.

Real Freedom

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The real freedom is within. Nothing….no thing….in the apparent external world has to change for you to be utterly, completely free right this moment. But something internal has to. The internal reality most of us experience is “apparent” too, but not to me…not yet.

Recently I was talking with a friend about ascension. There are aspects I probably cannot articulate yet, but I have known for a long time that part of the process is that the soul releases its identification with form. That does not means we die. We are so trained to equate form with physical life, but that’s part of the problem. The spiritual release and dropping the identification of form (which is so much more than the physical body) is an act of soul and consciousness. It sounds airy-fairy and unrelated to the nuts and bolts of life, but it is neither. It IS profoundly practical and just profound overall.

I longed for this state for most of my life. I studied it. If anyone who experienced it wrote about it, I read it their accounts. I used to be a walking encyclopedia of written spiritual accounts of humans who had awakened to non-duality, soul freedom, ascension. After decades of inquiry, I concluded the shift is an act of grace. If fervor, longing, sincere desire, intuitive knowing, etc., could cause this state, I would have experienced it many times over. I can’t say that none of that matters, because maybe it does and it doesn’t matter anyway because once you have a taste for it, you cannot let it go and you long for that freedom. We long for it because we know it is our true state. But what pulls the final lever of awakening? It seems to be the soul. The human cannot cause it.

I do Zoom calls with Byron Katie almost every week and have done so for over four year. BK is an awakened human. She does not describe herself that way, which is all the more telling of her authenticity, so these are my words and my experience of her. She too has said that her “experience on the floor” (see any of her books to know how she woke up on the floor one morning and nothing was the same) was an act of grace.