Tag Archives: integration

Wealthy, Shiny People

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“There is a natural law of abundance which pervades the entire universe, but it will not flow through a doorway of belief in lack and limitation.” – Paul Zaiter

I used to believe this or maybe I used to try to believe it. Now I think it is complete rubbish. Total bullshit. I cannot count the number of people I know who have alot of money AND intense fear around money; the belief in lack and limitation mentioned in the quote. It almost seems like a belief in lack and limitation is a darn good prerequisite for attracting and holding a great deal of money.

What seems truer to me is this quote from Jung: “Until you make the unconscious, conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it Fate.”
And even more, this one: “One does not become enlightened by imagining futures of light, but by making the darkness visible.” But I would nix “enlightened,” and put in blended, integrated, unified.

Here’s the thing: not everyone has to do this. Blend their shadow. Make the fear known, conscious and integrated before enough or more than enough money shows up for them. The people I know who have abundant money and plenty of fear too (and I’m not talking about thieves and plunderers….don’t know any) do not have to do the hard inner work of integration before they acquire alot of money.
Though I had about a 10 year reprieve from the work and hardship of the path of needing-to-integrate-before-having, I seem to be called to this path whether I like it or not. This difference – some have to do the work, some do not – caused me confusion for years.

The Dark Night

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My life has been rough the last couple years. When I tell people about it – I don’t often – they usually don’t understand. “Why don’t you change it?” they ask. They don’t understand. That makes my life feel rougher.

Last weekend, I was talking to a friend about it. I said, “Sometimes the soul calls shots the ego does not like. The freedoms we normally experience aren’t there. We try, but things don’t happen, like as a way of life.”

My friend said the same thing another friend said in a similar conversation in November. “Maybe most people don’t experience that.”

It got me thinking a bit differently. First, I think some people do understand this subject, they are just not the ones crossing my path. There is a phenomena on the spiritual journey called “the dark night of the soul.” I can tell you for sure that the overwhelming majority of people do not accurately understand that process. Part of the reason for that is there is NO and I mean no societal reference point for it. When you experience it you are in the dark in more ways than one, including having no culture that understands it. Literally.

Thing is, everyone goes through it at some point as they complete their spiritual journey. Because of that, I have come to expect that people know what it is, that they have some kind of real-life reference point.

If they have experienced it maybe they regarded it “just” as a very difficult time? What I’m going through now is not the Dark Night. It has similarities, but it is not the same, though it sucks pretty much the same.
The Dark Night had distinct features. The inner life I had known to that point was gone. The “light” phenomena of consciousness – the way guidance occurred; the love exchange I had with what I then called God – was gone. In a way there was an energy that did present itself, but it was dark. Compared to the energy that was no longer there, it was blind.

Maybe I understand the Dark Night process more than others, but I think everyone should understand it to some degree. Am I wrong? They don’t seem to.

Our Fractal Nature ( huge in more ways than one)

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We are fractals. Universal fractals. Fractals are not aspects or an “aspect of” anything or anyone. Fractals are not a “part of” or a child-of. We are not aspects of a Creator. We are not children of God. We are infinite beings. Nothing exists beyond our infinite nature. I will repeat: We are not children of a God….any God.

We are the entirety in compressed form.

Contemplate this. If you contemplate it, you will likely realize you regard yourself, however subtley, as a piece, aspect, child, “part-of,” “member of.” You regard yourself this way in an existential sense. If you really “get” that you are the whole, the entirety, the infinite in compressed form, it will change your life.

The Blend

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How much do we want to be saved or just relieved?

I know I do. However, it is the unsexy work of what I call the “inner blend” that makes you able to go through the so-called “eye of the needle” and what we seek in our fantasies of saving and relief. Unsexy indeed.

Inner blend brings you to zero point. That is the transition point, but it is really no point at all.
It’s tough. To not have goals. But goals in this realm are ideologies and they end up distracting and – temporarily- blocking us. They are pleasant, they are bromides, but not ultimately useful.

What to do? Embrace those aspects of your self that feel too embarrassing, painful, bad and shameful. The ones you want to cast aside. The ones society & religion – both one big ideology – would tell you are bad and deserve to be cast aside. Those aspects they say need redemption and becoming “better than.”
All of that is internal splitting, division. Splitting is too big and discordant. It’s a big wave form. Big wave forms don’t get through the eye of the needle. Forget stories that say it is about material objects, like money, it is about aspects of self and how we relate to them.

Love collapses that wave form. The collapsed wave form is what descriptions like “the eye of the needle” and “zero point” seek to explain. Moving forward is about the quiet, subtle inner blend of all the aspects of self. The belligerent, the irritable, the greedy. Blend ’em. Blend them all.