Tag Archives: spirituality

The Alchemical Blend – simplified #1

Posted on by
Reply

In addition to writing out an idea as it comes to me, sometimes I try to simplify my perspectives. They can be hard to grasp. Whatever I write publicly, I am always writing TO someone. It may turn out that someone is only me, but that is not my thought at the time and not my hope.

I think I have to accept that even simplified, some of the concepts central to my work are just not for everybody. Some people barely acknowledge an inner life or a greater soul or soul expressions beyond this Earth or timeframe.

When I talk about infinite soul essence blending ALL the wisdom acquired during many, many life expressions in vast quadrants of this multi-dimensional universe, it could be a non-starter. ;^) However, if you do resonate with this, even if there isn’t conceptual understanding, I’d like to simplify. There are so many elements of mystery. It helps to be comfortable or even delighted by that.

This is my working model. We have all been beset by massive disinformation over the eons. We will have new working models as time goes on.

Here goes:

We are full fractal humans and the female humans are possibly even more than that. Full-fractal means we are composed of all the bits. Every lifetime or life expression we’ve ever experienced and galactic energies too. This is an energetic state since we do not all walk around with a million visible physical “selves” and galaxies hanging off our bodies. ;^)

I have learned from excellent sources that the full-fractal state is beyond rare and unique in this Universe. And we alone have it. We humans on Earth. Just by being (a real) human, you have access to unimaginable power and resources. You don’t have to do anything to get that, you already have it, you already are it. Just plain ole. Just because you are a real human.

(BTW, if you give up this precious resource to become part AI, you will lose it).

Because of this power access – to lifetimes of experiences, galaxies, galactic energies, planetary beings, stars – AND the divine spark that the human is also given, we are greatly sought after. But we are sought after primarily by beings that want to control or suppress us. To describe the depth and breadth of this would take a small book, but know this: You are it. You are the one you have been waiting for. You are the one that (some) others in the universe seek to own and exploit. They covet the power you have, for they do not have it. This is key.

One more thing: when you get in so-called spiritual circles, you will often hear that humans are bad because they are so dense. Dense like “low” or “low vibration.” I used to think that. But it is a lie. We are dense because we contain multitudes. That takes up space and bandwidth. Our density is our superpower, not a liability. Do not fall for that lie. You will deny your magnificent power with that erroneous belief, which is exactly what the propagators of the lie hope for.

Okay. That is all for now. Next post I will talk about not leaving any piece of your inner self behind. Hence the need to blend fully. You don’t want to leave any aspect excluded. Why? Because you might have to come back to retrieve it. I don’t know about you, but that is a no-go for me.

Shifting Further Further

Posted on by
Reply

I recounted in my last post how the practical reasons – yup, the kooky ones – for which I came to this Mesa did not materialize. The San Luis Valley has been known for off-planet connections for hundreds of years. It felt like a good fit.

People tend to believe that outer circumstances create reality. They do not. So in the past couple years when I would tell folks the challenges we were experiencing here, they would usually respond, “Well, why don’t you move?”

That response was depressing. Their (complete) lack of understanding left me feeling more isolated and exhausted.

When I moved here I called this phase the Alchemical Bootcamp. I understood it intuitively. If you have ever had an encounter with true inner alchemy, you might guess that an alchemical bootcamp was going to be a complete ass-kicking ordeal. It was. It still is, though for today the non-stop major crises and breakdown of essential things has quieted. For today.

I wish more people spoke “alchemy.” It would be so nice to talk to others on a level that felt mutual. We need that mind-meld. It would be great for that.

The alchemy is well underway. I could even dare to say I have some experience already under my belt. Dare I say? When you get shredded by life/soul for alchemical purposes, it is hard to be optimistic about anything other than the fact that some other shoe is going to drop any minute.

So, where do I find myself now? No liaising with the star family, at least not now. LIving day to day like I am back country camping – not acceptable. Honestly, I was a pretty good sport about some of it: the composting toilet; showering at the community center; cooking in an RV that had no heat and an abundance of mice. Now, though, it has settled into a way of life since we do not have the many thousands of dollars required to improve the situation. Yeah, this is not gonna fly.

Community? I have met some lovely people here. On the Mesa and off. But they all travel alot and have friends elsewhere (and not on star family craft – that was supposed to be my crowd). So they are mostly gone, having fun elsewhere.

Roger, my buddy on the Mesa, sadly died in March. He is with his own off-planet family now.

Our good neighbor, John, had a sort of stress-induced breakdown a few months ago and tried to destroy a bunch of people’s organizations online, including Vyvyan’s (my husband) who started his organization to help John. We don’t see John anymore.

This high desert stark land has become desolate in many ways. Too many ways.

I do not have enough money to go out to dinner, much less move to another country, but inwardly I’m feeling drawn to move. I noticed last night, my energy is starting to vacate my current life.

It will be interesting to see if things in the outer world shift as I open myself more to a move prospect internally.
Not all the original reasons to stay in Colorado (or in the US) have disappeared, but some of them have.

The Dark Night

Posted on by
Reply

My life has been rough the last couple years. When I tell people about it – I don’t often – they usually don’t understand. “Why don’t you change it?” they ask. They don’t understand. That makes my life feel rougher.

Last weekend, I was talking to a friend about it. I said, “Sometimes the soul calls shots the ego does not like. The freedoms we normally experience aren’t there. We try, but things don’t happen, like as a way of life.”

My friend said the same thing another friend said in a similar conversation in November. “Maybe most people don’t experience that.”

It got me thinking a bit differently. First, I think some people do understand this subject, they are just not the ones crossing my path. There is a phenomena on the spiritual journey called “the dark night of the soul.” I can tell you for sure that the overwhelming majority of people do not accurately understand that process. Part of the reason for that is there is NO and I mean no societal reference point for it. When you experience it you are in the dark in more ways than one, including having no culture that understands it. Literally.

Thing is, everyone goes through it at some point as they complete their spiritual journey. Because of that, I have come to expect that people know what it is, that they have some kind of real-life reference point.

If they have experienced it maybe they regarded it “just” as a very difficult time? What I’m going through now is not the Dark Night. It has similarities, but it is not the same, though it sucks pretty much the same.
The Dark Night had distinct features. The inner life I had known to that point was gone. The “light” phenomena of consciousness – the way guidance occurred; the love exchange I had with what I then called God – was gone. In a way there was an energy that did present itself, but it was dark. Compared to the energy that was no longer there, it was blind.

Maybe I understand the Dark Night process more than others, but I think everyone should understand it to some degree. Am I wrong? They don’t seem to.

More on The Good Emergency: Earth in Transition

Posted on by
Reply

One of my favorite quotes from the last year came from an interview with Sophie Gregoire Trudeau, the ex-wife of Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau. When asked what her younger self thought about her future, she responded, “I don’t make many plans. I’ve trained my brain to deal with uncertainty more. The brain doesn’t like uncertainty. Stress is a dysfunctional relationship with the present moment.”

I relate well to her words as I have had to examine my relationship to the unknown more than I would have predicted or liked the last two years.

When the rug got pulled from my old life in 2019-2020, I ventured into deeply new inner and outer territory. What drove me was an inner knowing that everything on planet Earth was going to change profoundly.

When the sudden changes came in my own life, I knew it was time for a radical departure from the known world into a life that would – hopefully – be a bridge to the unprecedented reality about to unfold on Earth.

The Earth itself has ascended to the 5th Dimension. Humanity is living in a transition version of the old 3rd dimensional world we all know and (many) think is the only reality that exists….in the entire Cosmos! We have been taught to believe that.

Each density or dimension has very different characteristics, somewhat like different countries having very different customs, language, geography, etc. The change from our old 3rd dimension to the 5th dimension will be radical because the 5th has its own structure (much bigger than 3rd), laws, physics and relationship to duality and it bears no resemblance to our old 3D world.

The other striking thing about this transition from 3D to 5D will be the complete falling away of the system of control that has taken root on our planet for many years. This system of control shapes almost everything we experience in our lives. Just this one fact, the absence of it, will dramatically change our world as we know it. Add to that the ascension into higher dimensions and you have the unprecedented world we are moving into. It is a great time for each of us to challenge our relationship to the unknown and make it more relaxed. We will need that skill. It may seem like the changes I’m talking about will take hundreds of years, but they will not. They will take mere months and years.

It is hard to know exactly what the transition will look like. I would say, though hopefully not to confuse anyone, that in some ways and only in some ways, the lockdown of the pandemic in 2020 was a primer. It was a primer in that almost everything in our world shifted immediately. Everyone had to turn on a dime. This was an incredibly valuable experience. It taught us that the reality we have been lead to believe was absolute and immutable can change in an instant.

Things on Earth will change, but this time we will not be going back to “normal.” This fact might feel very jarring to some. It might feel like an emergency.

Conventionally we experience an emergency when: 1) something sudden and painful is happening; 2) there is usually some form of destruction and we mobilize (like crazy) to eliminate the pain and return to normal, even if that process takes years.

If you extract the painful part and the focus on returning to normal (the two are often very connected), we can call an emergency “good” as there are admirable qualities an emergency brings out. Here are some:

1. Everyone involved knows it is happening (this is key).

2. Time changes. We don’t think much about it because we are too busy acting.

3. We just act. Our thoughts become utilitarian, we do not have time to overanalyze (or snipe on social media or do much of anything on social media, especially if it no longer exists!). We are completely immersed in the process.

4. Our resistance lessens or disappears. There is simply no time for it.

5. What we think we need changes radically.

6. We don’t stand around judging others. We act together.

As our world shifts, you can see how these qualities will be essential. I do not think digital anything is active in the 5th dimension, but there will likely be a transition from our insane dependence on it now to its disappearance. As the transition really gets underway, people will likely be acting in-person in more local communities (will be radically new for younger people).

The old world will not be returning. There will be no “normal” to go back to. It will seem scary for awhile. Time to bring in your better relationship to the unknown. It might feel like an emergency, but it is a good, a great emergency.

We will all be a crucial part of a magnificent transformation. It will have positive reverberations for our entire Universe, which we have yet to meet! There will be great celebration in the cosmos as humanity is freed from the controlling entities and systems that have held it in bondage for ages and the Earth and its inhabitants ascend into spiritual greatness and take their rightful place as fully free cosmic citizens.

Are you ready to rock and roll? We got this!

Bad Fiction

Posted on by
Reply
This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is pexels-killian-eon-1185568-2635595.jpg

Lord have mercy. I am working on an old iMac and it is so slow I want to pull my hair out. There is a widespread machine failure, dysfunction going on in my life. My laptop dying last Fall was part of that wave. That wave has been active for over a year now. Wow.
God love my friend Susan for giving me her 2103 iMac so I could type on something, but bless it, it is slow.
What does this ongoing wave of machine failure mean?

To be honest, I do not know with any certainty. I must admit, recently, after the brand new solar system completely failed and died, for a moment I felt like I was being targeted, like energetically, but that passed. I must stay out of that kind of thinking. It is useless and puts me in twisted “inner” territory. Mostly I feel abandoned by God and snubbed by my soul. Since I see my soul as the causal factor in my life, feeling snubbed by it is a problem. There are so many crazymaking aspects to this time in my life, feeling at odds or victimized by my soul is just one of them. It’s not as serious as it sounds meaning I do ultimately trust my soul, but I am leary of its messaging at the moment. (Ha).

I have alot to say today after having little for months. I will probably break it up into different posts. I will (try to) go back to some of the challenges of this in-between time. The time between worlds.

Machines are breaking. As I’ve said in many posts, everything on this planet, in our world will change down to the last blade of grass. When I first heard my teacher say that it hit home because I knew it. I knew it intuitively, with all my cells. It is the truth within me. The “what” of what will change has been a 50 yr educational process with some of the more difficult, sickening details of it only becoming clear or clearer the last 3-4 years. That’s where the bad fiction comes in. Thirty years ago I wrote: “This world is all fiction. Unfortunately it is bad fiction.” If you are going to create a world of duality and form, why not make it a pleasant world. Just like if you are going to write a story, why not make it a happy one? Especially when that story is a reality people live in. Yes, duality can suck, but it doesn’t have to suck the way it does in our world at the moment.

OK back to the dying machines. Everything will change, so machines will change too. My intuition tells me none of the machines we currently use will exist in the ascended Earth. It is a completely different field of consciousness, physics and form (hallelujah). So as this world dismantles, things will start to not work or maybe disappear…or both!

How much of my current life is a product of the dismantling of this existing reality? Not sure. If it were up to me we’d move quickly and smoothly from one dimensional world to the next, but instead there is this insanely long in-between time going on.
Perhaps in the grand scheme of things it is merciful, but to me it is not. So there is this long in-between time when you …I’ll speak for myself here, when I have to live in this world when I’m beyond (!) ready for the 5D one, but I still depend on the current world’s machines, economy, infrastructure, vehicles, much of which have been failing. The worst of it is that it feels scary. And yes, I admit that if I boil down that fear it is not only a fear of death or disability, but even, as I heard someone say recently, the soul fearing its own annihilation. I didn’t know souls did that, but I trust the source and I know that the worst of what I’m feeling when things fall apart is a kind of terror.

Real Freedom

Posted on by
Reply

The real freedom is within. Nothing….no thing….in the apparent external world has to change for you to be utterly, completely free right this moment. But something internal has to. The internal reality most of us experience is “apparent” too, but not to me…not yet.

Recently I was talking with a friend about ascension. There are aspects I probably cannot articulate yet, but I have known for a long time that part of the process is that the soul releases its identification with form. That does not means we die. We are so trained to equate form with physical life, but that’s part of the problem. The spiritual release and dropping the identification of form (which is so much more than the physical body) is an act of soul and consciousness. It sounds airy-fairy and unrelated to the nuts and bolts of life, but it is neither. It IS profoundly practical and just profound overall.

I longed for this state for most of my life. I studied it. If anyone who experienced it wrote about it, I read it their accounts. I used to be a walking encyclopedia of written spiritual accounts of humans who had awakened to non-duality, soul freedom, ascension. After decades of inquiry, I concluded the shift is an act of grace. If fervor, longing, sincere desire, intuitive knowing, etc., could cause this state, I would have experienced it many times over. I can’t say that none of that matters, because maybe it does and it doesn’t matter anyway because once you have a taste for it, you cannot let it go and you long for that freedom. We long for it because we know it is our true state. But what pulls the final lever of awakening? It seems to be the soul. The human cannot cause it.

I do Zoom calls with Byron Katie almost every week and have done so for over four year. BK is an awakened human. She does not describe herself that way, which is all the more telling of her authenticity, so these are my words and my experience of her. She too has said that her “experience on the floor” (see any of her books to know how she woke up on the floor one morning and nothing was the same) was an act of grace.